AU Box

[lovesuwithknives]

Because I can't leave that Abstract Button alone, here's a bunch of AUs that roll about in my head that I figured I'd plop in here to see if anyone wants to bat them about.

Warnings apply for pretty much everything: smut, body horror, violence, nonconsensual science, cosmic horror, pregnancy, gender-switching, and probably more.


Wizarding AU
or
Harry Potter And The Contrived Fanfiction Plot

Is it Marauders-Era and you not only have to deal with them but this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? Or, even worse, is this during the books and you have to deal with all of that plus this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? This man looks like he just crawled out from under the floorboards of Voldemort's own goddamn house. He makes Snape look trustworthy. But boy does he know his stuff. And all kinds of other stuff. So what's Professor Azwel really about?


Cthulhu Mythos AU
or
The Call Of The Thing On The Living Room Floor Of The Witch-House Of The Terrible Old Man With The Silver Key To The Challenge From Beyond The Wall Of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Terrible things are afoot in New England in the 1920s. Fish-people and cultists and schlubs having horrible dreams are everywhere. Things are colours that don't exist. A squiggly symbol that scares the bejeezus out of you is scrawled on random surfaces. And what's that awful tekeli-li sound that rides the wind of an evening? What are those faceless flying creatures silhouetted against the moon? AND WHY IS AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL BUG MAN THING CLAIMING HE'S RANDOLPH CARTER? Nobody knows except a strange mystic from Europe who calls himself only 'Azwel' and seems to know an awful lot about and awful lot of things. Things man (or woman or bug) was not meant to know! Do you follow him to the hilltops or into the cypress swamps or wherever else he says the horrible tomes direct him or do you do the smart thing and run screaming into the night, trailing As as you go?


Domestic Fluff
or
How I Married A Mad Alchemist

Ah, wedded bliss. Family life and home sweet home. Is there anything like it? Probably not. You are Mr. Or Mrs. Azwel. His first name is a secret he just might someday tell you. In the meantime, you now live in a big sprawling house with either three or seventeen cats (never any other number), a plethora of alchemical paraphernalia, and a husband whom you have to tempt out of the lab to eat. But he's wealthy. And he loves you more than anything. He just... has a very unconventional way of showing it.


Sex Slave
or
Fuggit, I'm Running Out Of Titles.

a Did you get bought from the sex slave market by this odd, mysterious nobleman who only goes by one name? How will this 'Lord Azwel' even treat you? Only one way to find out, as he's bringing you home to his mansion full of books and alchemy. Oh, my.

b You're looking for that special sex slave. Well, this fellow is certainly eye-catching, all big and manly, windswept and interesting. Watch out, though, the owner says he's a bit mad, too clever by three quarters, and was sold to him as punishment for some crime nobody will disclose.


Experiments? Oh My!
It can be any time, really, the aim is the same. This strange genius who calls himself only 'Azwel' has you locked up in his laboratory. He has a mission, you see, and that mission is to extract a very, very specific kind of energy from you. It can only be collected during orgasm. Oh, but he's terribly clever at getting people to that state....


Vampire AU
a Blaaaaaa! A mysterious alchemist who never goes out in the daytime has moved into that spooky castle. And at the same time there's tell of a mysterious fiend roaming the streets at night, ravishing nubile young maidens and... whatever the young gentleman equivalent may be... and draining their blood! Can anyone draw the obvious conclusion between these nocturnal shenanigans and that weird Count Azwel?

b You vampire, you! You've somehow gone and caught yourself a nosy alchemist who insists on being called only 'Azwel.' His fault for trying to investigate your castle/house/apartment/yurt/whatever, I suppose. Now what will you do with him? My, but he's a robust-looking fellow who'll certainly serve as a ready food supply....


Girl Genius AU
Explosions! Terrible mad science! Toothy monsters with cheesy accents! Giant switches actually labelled 'MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!' Gleeful destruction! Exclamation marks! Just what have you gotten yourself into walking into the midst of Mechanicsburg in a random era ruled by Azwel Heterodyne The Madder Than Usual?

Pet Person AU
a Who doesn't like a big fluffy kitty? A... really big, fluffy kitty. Even though he prefers to wear clothes, one can see just how fluffy Azwel is by his purple hair and beard, soft grey ears with purple tufts, and giant, fluffy purple and grey tail. Oh, but he'd make a lovely companion, if you can get him to stop chewing on you. His love is pointy, after all. His claws are so long they don't retract all the way, making him even pointier. But he's clever and just listen to that rumbling purr!

Oh, and one other thing. There's a very good chance he'll be in heat. And even if he's not, he's still very libidinous. Sorry about that.

b Are you the kind of pet person Azwel's looking for? He's after someone who can assist in his work and not push things off of shelves or knock things over with a wagging tail. A companion to curl up with on cold nights. A sexual partner. Is it you?

Sex Cult AU
There's a heady smoke in the air, a mist swirling grey-white under the full moon. A hypnotic drumbeat plays. Cloaked and hooded figures surround you, bear you along to the stone altar under the tall trees. They start a slow, circling dance and a low, sonorous chant slips into your hearing. At the altar stands another figure, clad in elabourate robes. He reaches up with beringed hands to remove his hood, revealing his face, long purple hair and beard surrounding pale features and a gaze that draws you in. He bids you step toward him. The ritual has begun.


As an added bonus, request Rule 63 of any of the above and hey, presto, Azwel was always a woman!


Got any other ideas? Feel free to throw them at me. ^.^

Comments

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel's lips move slightly as they're kissed, a gentle response, at least showing that he's still in there. His eyes slowly open after a few moments. They're terribly weary but lucid. The light on the device is dark--his mind is his own, again. Noticing his hand is being squeezed, he curls his fingers around Vash's hand.

He swallows slowly. Thickly. "I... think we've... beaten them," he whispers with a faint smile.

The machinery and computers offer no readily visible solutions. Azwel lies still, his breathing growing calm, and smiles vaguely, his fingers still curled around Vash's. He has precious little strength left, but he suspects if he slept he'd make Vash worry and fret.

[goldenglasses]

Have they beaten them? They're still locked in this room and naked. Vash isn't too sure about their safety, but then again, Azwel wasn't completely controlled so perhaps that was good.

Vash kisses Azwel's forehead gently. Trying to see if it's warm. Or even cold. Kissing it a second time just because he can. "You were amazing."

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel gives a small, amused huff and a brief grin. "Thank you," he answers a bit loopily. "I try." His forehead is warm, the sweat already dried. He could use a long, hot shower to get all the sweat and grime and lube and cum and whatever else out of his hair and beard and off his skin. He could use an even longer sleep. But mostly, right now, damn does he want a nice, cool glass of water.

A small while passes in this stillness, the gas slowly cycling out of the air. Not a word from their captors. Not a sound. Azwel rests, eyes half-open, gazing at the screens or watching Vash. He ponders the fact that he really should put his clothes back on--he doesn't want to take a chill. But he's too exhausted to move.

A loud beep startles him into wakefulness.

"The facility is now properly vacated," a voice rings out through a speaker. "You may now exit. Please do not damage any of the machinery or standard disciplinary actions will be taken."

With a smaller beep the device on Azwel's head and the collar around Vash's neck unlock. Azwel wearily pushes the thing off himself, watching it clatter to the floor.

"You will need rest and fluids, the voice continues. "Especially you, 02-A."

A small hopper opens, revealing two very familiar looking pills and a clear plastic bottle of water. "Please swallow these. Refusal will result in force-feeding."

[goldenglasses]

Vash watches Azwel as he rests. At first looking dreamily and occasionally running a hand through Azwel's hair. Slowly as the gas leaves Vash starts to become a bit more alert. "I'll be right back." He will eventually slide off the bed to mess with the controls. Trying to bring up security feeds and seeing if he can get more information. It's blocked out and he gets nothing, but what already saved on it. He also tries the door and finds it locked before returning to Azwel. Without how weak his friend was he didn't dare try to open it again.

Instead he picks up his jacket and returns to the bed. He drapes it over Azwel as he sits back down and stares at the door waiting for it to open again. Vash jumps with surprise at both the noise and when his collar unlocks. Immediately ripping it off and throwing to the other side of the room.

Vash wrinkles his nose at the pill when it's offered. "You going to take it?" He doesn't like any of this, but he won't judge his friend if he decides to take it.

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel looks at it for a moment. "They want us to forget," he murmurs. He slowly reaches out a hand and takes the water bottle. His fingers hover over the pills for a beat, then he appears to make a decision and picks one up. "I don't think I can forget, but... on the off chance it works...." He shrugs and places it in his mouth, then gulps down about half the bottle. Oh, that's... really nice.

He hands the bottle to Vash. "Have some water, whether you take that pill or not," he says, his usual half-smile flickering at the corner of his mouth for a moment.

Slowly, he leaves the bed and gathers his clothing. It's going to take him a while to pull it all back on, and when he's done he's so wobbly-legged that he flops into the chair.

[goldenglasses]

Vash sighs. "Well, I think I've caused you enough problems with acting up already, haven't I?" He says with a soft smile. Reaching forward and picking up his own pill. It certainly looks like it goes in his mouth as he drinks just enough of the water to swallow down a pill. One he is carefully hiding away in the palm of one of his hands before he hands the bottle back to Azwel. "Here. You need it more than I do."

He doesn't want to forget, but he can understand why Azwel might. "Let's get dressed and out of here so we can leave." He moves to pick up his jacket, but stops when he sees how weak his friend is. "Whoa. Take it easy. Let me help you."

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel's none the wiser regarding this palming, as he wasn't looking at the time. Far too busy concentrating on making his feet work.

Which is why it comes as a surprise to him when, after Vash helps him to his feet out of the chair, there's another loud beep that startles him again.

"01-V. This is your only warning. Comply or neither you nor 02-A will be allowed to leave."

Azwel tries very hard to keep his emotions under wraps for once, but he can't hide the look of fear that crosses his face.

[goldenglasses]

Laughing meekly at Azwel the outlaw shrugs his shoulders before opening his hand and showing his friend the pill he hasn't taken yet. "Ah... opps?“

Then he holds it up where he's pretty sure the camera can see it. "Okay! Okay! I got it! But, geeze, you can at least call me by my name.“ He makes a show of placing the pill on his tongue. Moving his hand away so the camera can see it there before closing his mouth. Then he moves the pill back on this tongue pushing it back towards his throat where he half swallows it. With how dry his mouth currently is it gets stuck on the back of this throat which is exactly what he wants.

Out if view, but not yet in his stomach Vash opens his mouth and moves his tongue around to show the camera he's not hiding the pill under his tongue. He even goes so far as to pull down on his lips. Exposing every inch of his mouth. "Happy now?“

[lovesuwithknives]

They're never happy and that's probably part of the problem. But Azwel breathes a sigh of relief when the door emits a harsh buzz and then a click.

"Turn right. Follow the lit corridors to the exit."

Outside the room the corridor is sterile, showing no sign of the firefight that'd occurred there. And, just as the voice had said, there's no-one about. No guards, no workers, no techs, no-one. Azwel steps out curiously, and is a little unnerved by the silence, broken only by the faint electronic hum of the lighting. Ten feet to the right is an intersection, and the shadowy right side of it is strangely foreboding.

"Let's go, now," he says, his voice wearier than anyone has ever heard it.

[goldenglasses]

As badly as Vash wants to leave this place at a run to throw up the pill currently stuck against the back of his throat he tries to make sure to go at a pace Azwel can handle. "Yeah. Let's get out of here. Like, right away let's get out of here."

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel nods and starts walking, still unnerved by the darkened corridors to one side or the other. The whole place seems so eerie and silent. He wants to leave as quickly as possible, too, but it becomes clear rather soon that his strength is already flagging. His feet drag and his path weaves until, several steps later, he staggers against the wall.

"Oh. I'm afraid my legs have other ideas...." he says a bit vaguely. "How mutinous of them. I'd tell them a thing or two, but I don't think they're listening."

[goldenglasses]

Vash turns his back to Azwel and kneels down. "Here. Climb on and I'll carry you. It's the least I can do after the way you fought off their machine for me." He smiles at his friend. "You were great."

[lovesuwithknives]

Carefully he curls his arms and legs around Vash, resting his head on the other's back. "Thank you," he murmurs. "That's very kind." He has to ponder the comment about fighting off the machine--the drug hasn't kicked in, yet, but his memory is a little hazy about the time he spent under the control of that device. "I was?" he blithers, "that's good to hear. I don't remember much other than hearing you saying you were in pain. And, y'know, sex should never be painful. Unless one wants it to be, of course. But you didn't sound as though you wanted it to be. Painful, I mean. I... think I remember fighting it. Hmm. I suppose they took on more than they could handle when they tried to control a mind like mine, eh? Too chaotic for them and their computers. Woolly thinking, really. But whatever keeps their decisions warm at night, yes?"

He's rapidly losing coherence, but he seems oddly happy with that fact.

[goldenglasses]

"Yeah." Vash starts moving faster towards the exit. Following the lights and hoping that it's leading them out. He's pretty sure that it is. Why would they go through this effort to lead them into a new trap when they could have just left his collar on and shocked him? "I think they were trying to hurt me while they got their data." He scowls. Hating the feeling of being used for both sex and a test subject. "And you wouldn't let them do that to me. Not a lot of people would have." Or at least Vash doesn't think he's worth the effort and thinks others must feel the same. "And yeah. They were fools messing with you. You sure showed them!" Or at least Vash hopes Azwel did so they don't try this again in the future.

[lovesuwithknives]

"I certainly hope I showed them a thing or three," he mumbles. "It's an interesting idea but a terrible execution. Think of what one could do with it with willing participants, instead. Surely there are a few people with a 'sex in an esoteric machine' fetish." Later he'd wonder why such words fell out of his face given his history, but right now they just made so much more sense. His too-fecund imagination spins happily along on this path and he gives a soft huff of laughter. "In this city? All one'd have to do is set it up for demonstrations and take in volunteers," he finishes before chuckling quietly.

Has he... learnt something from this? It's altogether possible. Perhaps he'll even remember the lesson, later.

[goldenglasses]

"You showed them five things I bet!" Vash can't help but laugh loudly at the idea that someone would have a strange sex machine kink. "I totally bet there's a least ten people who would be exited for that if not more!" Although how many of them are walking, talking generators like Vash is? "I hope they do that next time." He raises his voice. "YOU PROBABLY WOULD SAVE A LOT MORE MONEY IF YOU DID THAT!"

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel snickers and laughs and giggles loopily at that. "One would think so, wouldn't one?" he chortles.

The door comes into view, and turns out to be unlocked. Really, they hadn't let them out as much as thrown them out (or, at least, they can keep telling themselves that), and as soon as the two are outside the door's lock clicks home pointedly.

Well. At least it's nice out, today.

"Hmmmm, well, it's a lovely day," Azwel says vaguely.

[goldenglasses]

"Yeah it is. Let's get home!" Vash picks up his pace again. Nearly at a run now. He wants to put some distance between them and the facility. As soon as they're a few buildings down and out of sight he will gently put Azwel down. "Sorry. Just, wait here a second. I need to do something."

He'll go around a corner so Azwel doesn't have to watch. He will also try to be quiet, but Azwel still might hear the sounds of Vash being sick from around the corner.

[lovesuwithknives]

He blinks a little puzzledly when he's set down, but gives not a murmur of protest. Instead, his mind is occupied with wondering why his body is still refusing to co-operate. He must really be tired. Surely there's a reason for it. He has hazy memories of penetration. A lot of penetration. Perhaps that's why?

His thoughts are broken off when he hears retching from around the corner. He cranes his neck but can't see anything.

"Are you all right over there?"

[goldenglasses]

"Fine! Just fine!" Vash will come back after a few seconds. Hands stuffed into his pockets with a smile on his face. "Just had to take care of something." Like the only partially dissolved pill he's hidden in his picket. Kneeling down he offers his back to Azwel again. "Hop on. I'll take us all the way home now."

[lovesuwithknives]

"Oh. Hm. Don't forget to drink some water. I... seem to remember that was important. Besides, it's so warm to be going about in all that..." he gestures vaguely to what Vash is wearing--that coat has got to be really warm.

He puts his arms and legs around Vash again, still not fully trusting his own body. He's a little lost in thought and doesn't realise straight away when Vash says 'home.'

"Home? Your home or mine?" he asks a little vaguely, leaning his head against the other's back again. "I mean... I'm all right with either, if I can not be alone for a while. I... don't want to be alone, right now."

He hates how vulnerable he's feeling, but something's scratching at his mind, threatening to tear open things that were covered.

[goldenglasses]

Vash shifts Azwel's weight on his back as he heads towards the apartments again. "We'll head to your place and I'll stay as long as you need me too." When they're nearly there an idea crosses Vash's mind. "And when's the last time you've eaten?"

[lovesuwithknives]

"I... hm." He has to think on that for a moment. "I can't remember. Though I can't remember much of anything, really. I expect they fed me at some point, else I'd be in much worse shape than I am." A beat. "Though... I am rather hungry," he admits, watching as they draw nearer to the apartments. "I don't know if anything I've got is still good--I don't even know how long I was in that facility. But I'm willing to share it if it's still edible," he finishes with a small huff of embarrassed laughter.

[goldenglasses]

Vash nods his head and will enter the building. Heading up to Azwel's apartment. "Is the door locked?" He'll set his friend down if he needs to unlock the door.

[lovesuwithknives]

"I have a key..." Azwel digs in a pocket, handing it to Vash. He lets himself be lowered to his feet and leans against the wall as the other unlocks and opens the door.

Inside the apartment it's quite normal--no odd smells, no sign of struggle, it's as though Azwel had simply stepped out earlier that day. Perhaps he had. He has no idea.

"Home sweet home," he murmurs, somehow making his way in and to the nearest article of furniture, onto which he flops wearily. He lets his eyes fall shut for just a moment.

The fridge and cupboards have a few items of food and all seem to be fresh, which is good, as Azwel may have fallen asleep.