AU Box

[lovesuwithknives]

Because I can't leave that Abstract Button alone, here's a bunch of AUs that roll about in my head that I figured I'd plop in here to see if anyone wants to bat them about.

Warnings apply for pretty much everything: smut, body horror, violence, nonconsensual science, cosmic horror, pregnancy, gender-switching, and probably more.


Wizarding AU
or
Harry Potter And The Contrived Fanfiction Plot

Is it Marauders-Era and you not only have to deal with them but this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? Or, even worse, is this during the books and you have to deal with all of that plus this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? This man looks like he just crawled out from under the floorboards of Voldemort's own goddamn house. He makes Snape look trustworthy. But boy does he know his stuff. And all kinds of other stuff. So what's Professor Azwel really about?


Cthulhu Mythos AU
or
The Call Of The Thing On The Living Room Floor Of The Witch-House Of The Terrible Old Man With The Silver Key To The Challenge From Beyond The Wall Of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Terrible things are afoot in New England in the 1920s. Fish-people and cultists and schlubs having horrible dreams are everywhere. Things are colours that don't exist. A squiggly symbol that scares the bejeezus out of you is scrawled on random surfaces. And what's that awful tekeli-li sound that rides the wind of an evening? What are those faceless flying creatures silhouetted against the moon? AND WHY IS AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL BUG MAN THING CLAIMING HE'S RANDOLPH CARTER? Nobody knows except a strange mystic from Europe who calls himself only 'Azwel' and seems to know an awful lot about and awful lot of things. Things man (or woman or bug) was not meant to know! Do you follow him to the hilltops or into the cypress swamps or wherever else he says the horrible tomes direct him or do you do the smart thing and run screaming into the night, trailing As as you go?


Domestic Fluff
or
How I Married A Mad Alchemist

Ah, wedded bliss. Family life and home sweet home. Is there anything like it? Probably not. You are Mr. Or Mrs. Azwel. His first name is a secret he just might someday tell you. In the meantime, you now live in a big sprawling house with either three or seventeen cats (never any other number), a plethora of alchemical paraphernalia, and a husband whom you have to tempt out of the lab to eat. But he's wealthy. And he loves you more than anything. He just... has a very unconventional way of showing it.


Sex Slave
or
Fuggit, I'm Running Out Of Titles.

a Did you get bought from the sex slave market by this odd, mysterious nobleman who only goes by one name? How will this 'Lord Azwel' even treat you? Only one way to find out, as he's bringing you home to his mansion full of books and alchemy. Oh, my.

b You're looking for that special sex slave. Well, this fellow is certainly eye-catching, all big and manly, windswept and interesting. Watch out, though, the owner says he's a bit mad, too clever by three quarters, and was sold to him as punishment for some crime nobody will disclose.


Experiments? Oh My!
It can be any time, really, the aim is the same. This strange genius who calls himself only 'Azwel' has you locked up in his laboratory. He has a mission, you see, and that mission is to extract a very, very specific kind of energy from you. It can only be collected during orgasm. Oh, but he's terribly clever at getting people to that state....


Vampire AU
a Blaaaaaa! A mysterious alchemist who never goes out in the daytime has moved into that spooky castle. And at the same time there's tell of a mysterious fiend roaming the streets at night, ravishing nubile young maidens and... whatever the young gentleman equivalent may be... and draining their blood! Can anyone draw the obvious conclusion between these nocturnal shenanigans and that weird Count Azwel?

b You vampire, you! You've somehow gone and caught yourself a nosy alchemist who insists on being called only 'Azwel.' His fault for trying to investigate your castle/house/apartment/yurt/whatever, I suppose. Now what will you do with him? My, but he's a robust-looking fellow who'll certainly serve as a ready food supply....


Girl Genius AU
Explosions! Terrible mad science! Toothy monsters with cheesy accents! Giant switches actually labelled 'MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!' Gleeful destruction! Exclamation marks! Just what have you gotten yourself into walking into the midst of Mechanicsburg in a random era ruled by Azwel Heterodyne The Madder Than Usual?

Pet Person AU
a Who doesn't like a big fluffy kitty? A... really big, fluffy kitty. Even though he prefers to wear clothes, one can see just how fluffy Azwel is by his purple hair and beard, soft grey ears with purple tufts, and giant, fluffy purple and grey tail. Oh, but he'd make a lovely companion, if you can get him to stop chewing on you. His love is pointy, after all. His claws are so long they don't retract all the way, making him even pointier. But he's clever and just listen to that rumbling purr!

Oh, and one other thing. There's a very good chance he'll be in heat. And even if he's not, he's still very libidinous. Sorry about that.

b Are you the kind of pet person Azwel's looking for? He's after someone who can assist in his work and not push things off of shelves or knock things over with a wagging tail. A companion to curl up with on cold nights. A sexual partner. Is it you?

Sex Cult AU
There's a heady smoke in the air, a mist swirling grey-white under the full moon. A hypnotic drumbeat plays. Cloaked and hooded figures surround you, bear you along to the stone altar under the tall trees. They start a slow, circling dance and a low, sonorous chant slips into your hearing. At the altar stands another figure, clad in elabourate robes. He reaches up with beringed hands to remove his hood, revealing his face, long purple hair and beard surrounding pale features and a gaze that draws you in. He bids you step toward him. The ritual has begun.


As an added bonus, request Rule 63 of any of the above and hey, presto, Azwel was always a woman!


Got any other ideas? Feel free to throw them at me. ^.^

Comments

[goldenglasses]

Vash turns his back to Azwel and kneels down. "Here. Climb on and I'll carry you. It's the least I can do after the way you fought off their machine for me." He smiles at his friend. "You were great."

[lovesuwithknives]

Carefully he curls his arms and legs around Vash, resting his head on the other's back. "Thank you," he murmurs. "That's very kind." He has to ponder the comment about fighting off the machine--the drug hasn't kicked in, yet, but his memory is a little hazy about the time he spent under the control of that device. "I was?" he blithers, "that's good to hear. I don't remember much other than hearing you saying you were in pain. And, y'know, sex should never be painful. Unless one wants it to be, of course. But you didn't sound as though you wanted it to be. Painful, I mean. I... think I remember fighting it. Hmm. I suppose they took on more than they could handle when they tried to control a mind like mine, eh? Too chaotic for them and their computers. Woolly thinking, really. But whatever keeps their decisions warm at night, yes?"

He's rapidly losing coherence, but he seems oddly happy with that fact.

[goldenglasses]

"Yeah." Vash starts moving faster towards the exit. Following the lights and hoping that it's leading them out. He's pretty sure that it is. Why would they go through this effort to lead them into a new trap when they could have just left his collar on and shocked him? "I think they were trying to hurt me while they got their data." He scowls. Hating the feeling of being used for both sex and a test subject. "And you wouldn't let them do that to me. Not a lot of people would have." Or at least Vash doesn't think he's worth the effort and thinks others must feel the same. "And yeah. They were fools messing with you. You sure showed them!" Or at least Vash hopes Azwel did so they don't try this again in the future.

[lovesuwithknives]

"I certainly hope I showed them a thing or three," he mumbles. "It's an interesting idea but a terrible execution. Think of what one could do with it with willing participants, instead. Surely there are a few people with a 'sex in an esoteric machine' fetish." Later he'd wonder why such words fell out of his face given his history, but right now they just made so much more sense. His too-fecund imagination spins happily along on this path and he gives a soft huff of laughter. "In this city? All one'd have to do is set it up for demonstrations and take in volunteers," he finishes before chuckling quietly.

Has he... learnt something from this? It's altogether possible. Perhaps he'll even remember the lesson, later.

[goldenglasses]

"You showed them five things I bet!" Vash can't help but laugh loudly at the idea that someone would have a strange sex machine kink. "I totally bet there's a least ten people who would be exited for that if not more!" Although how many of them are walking, talking generators like Vash is? "I hope they do that next time." He raises his voice. "YOU PROBABLY WOULD SAVE A LOT MORE MONEY IF YOU DID THAT!"

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel snickers and laughs and giggles loopily at that. "One would think so, wouldn't one?" he chortles.

The door comes into view, and turns out to be unlocked. Really, they hadn't let them out as much as thrown them out (or, at least, they can keep telling themselves that), and as soon as the two are outside the door's lock clicks home pointedly.

Well. At least it's nice out, today.

"Hmmmm, well, it's a lovely day," Azwel says vaguely.

[goldenglasses]

"Yeah it is. Let's get home!" Vash picks up his pace again. Nearly at a run now. He wants to put some distance between them and the facility. As soon as they're a few buildings down and out of sight he will gently put Azwel down. "Sorry. Just, wait here a second. I need to do something."

He'll go around a corner so Azwel doesn't have to watch. He will also try to be quiet, but Azwel still might hear the sounds of Vash being sick from around the corner.

[lovesuwithknives]

He blinks a little puzzledly when he's set down, but gives not a murmur of protest. Instead, his mind is occupied with wondering why his body is still refusing to co-operate. He must really be tired. Surely there's a reason for it. He has hazy memories of penetration. A lot of penetration. Perhaps that's why?

His thoughts are broken off when he hears retching from around the corner. He cranes his neck but can't see anything.

"Are you all right over there?"

[goldenglasses]

"Fine! Just fine!" Vash will come back after a few seconds. Hands stuffed into his pockets with a smile on his face. "Just had to take care of something." Like the only partially dissolved pill he's hidden in his picket. Kneeling down he offers his back to Azwel again. "Hop on. I'll take us all the way home now."

[lovesuwithknives]

"Oh. Hm. Don't forget to drink some water. I... seem to remember that was important. Besides, it's so warm to be going about in all that..." he gestures vaguely to what Vash is wearing--that coat has got to be really warm.

He puts his arms and legs around Vash again, still not fully trusting his own body. He's a little lost in thought and doesn't realise straight away when Vash says 'home.'

"Home? Your home or mine?" he asks a little vaguely, leaning his head against the other's back again. "I mean... I'm all right with either, if I can not be alone for a while. I... don't want to be alone, right now."

He hates how vulnerable he's feeling, but something's scratching at his mind, threatening to tear open things that were covered.

[goldenglasses]

Vash shifts Azwel's weight on his back as he heads towards the apartments again. "We'll head to your place and I'll stay as long as you need me too." When they're nearly there an idea crosses Vash's mind. "And when's the last time you've eaten?"

[lovesuwithknives]

"I... hm." He has to think on that for a moment. "I can't remember. Though I can't remember much of anything, really. I expect they fed me at some point, else I'd be in much worse shape than I am." A beat. "Though... I am rather hungry," he admits, watching as they draw nearer to the apartments. "I don't know if anything I've got is still good--I don't even know how long I was in that facility. But I'm willing to share it if it's still edible," he finishes with a small huff of embarrassed laughter.

[goldenglasses]

Vash nods his head and will enter the building. Heading up to Azwel's apartment. "Is the door locked?" He'll set his friend down if he needs to unlock the door.

[lovesuwithknives]

"I have a key..." Azwel digs in a pocket, handing it to Vash. He lets himself be lowered to his feet and leans against the wall as the other unlocks and opens the door.

Inside the apartment it's quite normal--no odd smells, no sign of struggle, it's as though Azwel had simply stepped out earlier that day. Perhaps he had. He has no idea.

"Home sweet home," he murmurs, somehow making his way in and to the nearest article of furniture, onto which he flops wearily. He lets his eyes fall shut for just a moment.

The fridge and cupboards have a few items of food and all seem to be fresh, which is good, as Azwel may have fallen asleep.

[goldenglasses]

Vash had a feeling Azwel would pass out. So he made sure to drop Azwel off in his bedroom before going and checking on the food. Once he sees that there is something to offer his friend once he wakes up he'll go back to the bedroom. Sitting down on the bed next to him, but on high alert. Listening to the sounds of the apartment building. Vash may look relaxed, but unable to turn his mind off for the moment.

[lovesuwithknives]

Fortunately the building doesn't appear inclined to make any out-of-the-ordinary sounds. People come and go, a clock ticks steadily, and the city's noise is muffled to an ever-present amorphous rumble. Through all that, Azwel sleeps, but it's not the heavy, peaceful sleep Vash usually sees. He would occasionally give a small twitch of a hand or leg, or his brow would furrow for an instant. It's a fitful sleep, clearly fraught with dreams.

Eventually Azwel's eyes flick open and for a moment a frisson of panic flashes through him--he has no idea where he is. But a small clock on his nightstand stares calmly back at him, its gears steadily turning. He breathes a long sigh and turns, seeing Vash there. For s few beats he just looks at the other.

"I don't think their drug worked, this time," he says. "Or, at least, not nearly as well as intended."

[goldenglasses]

Vash watches Azwel sleep. Frowning on occasion at how restless it seemed. Although when Azwel starts to stir the frown is long gone and only Vash's normal smile remains. "Yeah? Maybe it takes some time to kick in. I'm sorry you remember. I know you wanted to forget."

[lovesuwithknives]

"I don't know, it... I felt something taking effect. It was a very peculiar sensation. I could feel parts of my mind fogging over and then... the fog simply left."

He rubs his hands over his face. "Nnngh. While I'm sure this information is valuable, it's also exceedingly unpleasant. I shall simply have to assimilate it as best I can, I suppose." Here he sprawls rather tragically. "I'm not entirely sure how, though."

There's a beat or two of silence, then he looks at Vash. "The worst of it is... I hurt you." He frowns as though in thought. "I've never given pain while intimate unless it was wanted."

[goldenglasses]

Vash smiles and gently pats Azwel's shoulder. "Nope. You're remembering it wrong. So maybe that pill did work. You didn't hurt me at all." Vash will argue that it wasn't Azwel who hurt him, but the people controlling him. Although right now he's seeing if he can just get Azwel to forget it happened at all. "You hungry? You have a bit of food here I could make you something."

[lovesuwithknives]

This makes him blink. He sits up, looking puzzled. "Am I? It seemed so real." Was it yet another vivid nightmare? "Real, yet... hazy. That device they had on me... it compromised my mind."

The mention of food well and truly derails this train of thought. It's horrible. Brain cars everywhere. "Oh--it's still good? I..." He at least has the good grace to look a little sheepish. "I'd appreciate that," he murmurs. "I don't think I can yet stand for very long at all."

[goldenglasses]

"Maybe there were a few elements of a dream and reality that are mixing together. But pretty sure the only one who ended up hurt was you." Vash slides off the bed to start heading out to the kitchen. "So you just rest and I'll be back in a bit with some food."

[lovesuwithknives]

"I did?" he says again. "That... would explain a few things." He lies back down again, as his poor, beleaguered head is starting to spin with the implications of all of this. He could have sworn he'd heard.... Maybe he hadn't.

It hurts....

Maybe it was he, Azwel, who'd said that, then? He is dreadfully sore. How many times had he ridden someone while that machine whirled around them and that device on his head steered his every action? He remembers blood in his nose, though. One hand lazily rubs said nose, feeling that peculiar pull against the skin of something that'd dried there. Sure enough, little flakes of dark red, almost brown, cling to his hand.

His hand goes to his head, next, finding a sore spot right above one of the scar lines. Hmmm. He tries to remember more, or to even push a coherent thought through, at all. Curse this weariness. He lets his eyes fall shut again, but doesn't fall asleep. They flick open again when he hears Vash return.

"What happened?" he asks. "You were there... I know you were there. What'd they do to us?"

[goldenglasses]

Vash comes back with the quickest thing he could find to cook up that he was sure was still good. Probably something from a can, but the important part was that it was food. Vash was worried that Azwel hasn't eaten in awhile so if there was soup for an option he would have gone for that.

He sighs at the question and doesn't answer right away. "I don't think I should tell you. You were pretty willing to take their pill and forget the experience."

[lovesuwithknives]

There'd been a can of cheap ravioli in there, easy enough to heat up and pour into a bowl. It's full of salt and dubious fillers and yet it smells wonderful, especially to a very hungry Azwel. He accepts the bowl with a murmur of thanks and digs in straight away.

Which is why he presents the slightly amusing sight of looking up, mouth full, blinking, at Vash's statement.

"Bubf..." He swallows. "It didn't really work. I have... half-memories. Flashes. Well, if you don't want to tell me everything, at least tell me... did I overdo it, riding people? Because it certainly feels as though I've done...." His gaze, now mildly puzzled, drops back to the ravioli.

[goldenglasses]

Vash flops and lounges himself on the bed. Watching Azwel with a tired smile. Not so much because he was happy with the situation, but due to the fact that he always defaulted to a smile. "Maybe those half memories will fade a bit more with time." He doubted those pills would be instant. He also doubted their ability to take all the memories away. "You might have overdone it to yourself." He says with color quickly filling up his cheeks. Thinking back about how easily Azwel had slid around him.