AU Box

[lovesuwithknives]

Because I can't leave that Abstract Button alone, here's a bunch of AUs that roll about in my head that I figured I'd plop in here to see if anyone wants to bat them about.

Warnings apply for pretty much everything: smut, body horror, violence, nonconsensual science, cosmic horror, pregnancy, gender-switching, and probably more.


Wizarding AU
or
Harry Potter And The Contrived Fanfiction Plot

Is it Marauders-Era and you not only have to deal with them but this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? Or, even worse, is this during the books and you have to deal with all of that plus this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? This man looks like he just crawled out from under the floorboards of Voldemort's own goddamn house. He makes Snape look trustworthy. But boy does he know his stuff. And all kinds of other stuff. So what's Professor Azwel really about?


Cthulhu Mythos AU
or
The Call Of The Thing On The Living Room Floor Of The Witch-House Of The Terrible Old Man With The Silver Key To The Challenge From Beyond The Wall Of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Terrible things are afoot in New England in the 1920s. Fish-people and cultists and schlubs having horrible dreams are everywhere. Things are colours that don't exist. A squiggly symbol that scares the bejeezus out of you is scrawled on random surfaces. And what's that awful tekeli-li sound that rides the wind of an evening? What are those faceless flying creatures silhouetted against the moon? AND WHY IS AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL BUG MAN THING CLAIMING HE'S RANDOLPH CARTER? Nobody knows except a strange mystic from Europe who calls himself only 'Azwel' and seems to know an awful lot about and awful lot of things. Things man (or woman or bug) was not meant to know! Do you follow him to the hilltops or into the cypress swamps or wherever else he says the horrible tomes direct him or do you do the smart thing and run screaming into the night, trailing As as you go?


Domestic Fluff
or
How I Married A Mad Alchemist

Ah, wedded bliss. Family life and home sweet home. Is there anything like it? Probably not. You are Mr. Or Mrs. Azwel. His first name is a secret he just might someday tell you. In the meantime, you now live in a big sprawling house with either three or seventeen cats (never any other number), a plethora of alchemical paraphernalia, and a husband whom you have to tempt out of the lab to eat. But he's wealthy. And he loves you more than anything. He just... has a very unconventional way of showing it.


Sex Slave
or
Fuggit, I'm Running Out Of Titles.

a Did you get bought from the sex slave market by this odd, mysterious nobleman who only goes by one name? How will this 'Lord Azwel' even treat you? Only one way to find out, as he's bringing you home to his mansion full of books and alchemy. Oh, my.

b You're looking for that special sex slave. Well, this fellow is certainly eye-catching, all big and manly, windswept and interesting. Watch out, though, the owner says he's a bit mad, too clever by three quarters, and was sold to him as punishment for some crime nobody will disclose.


Experiments? Oh My!
It can be any time, really, the aim is the same. This strange genius who calls himself only 'Azwel' has you locked up in his laboratory. He has a mission, you see, and that mission is to extract a very, very specific kind of energy from you. It can only be collected during orgasm. Oh, but he's terribly clever at getting people to that state....


Vampire AU
a Blaaaaaa! A mysterious alchemist who never goes out in the daytime has moved into that spooky castle. And at the same time there's tell of a mysterious fiend roaming the streets at night, ravishing nubile young maidens and... whatever the young gentleman equivalent may be... and draining their blood! Can anyone draw the obvious conclusion between these nocturnal shenanigans and that weird Count Azwel?

b You vampire, you! You've somehow gone and caught yourself a nosy alchemist who insists on being called only 'Azwel.' His fault for trying to investigate your castle/house/apartment/yurt/whatever, I suppose. Now what will you do with him? My, but he's a robust-looking fellow who'll certainly serve as a ready food supply....


Girl Genius AU
Explosions! Terrible mad science! Toothy monsters with cheesy accents! Giant switches actually labelled 'MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!' Gleeful destruction! Exclamation marks! Just what have you gotten yourself into walking into the midst of Mechanicsburg in a random era ruled by Azwel Heterodyne The Madder Than Usual?

Pet Person AU
a Who doesn't like a big fluffy kitty? A... really big, fluffy kitty. Even though he prefers to wear clothes, one can see just how fluffy Azwel is by his purple hair and beard, soft grey ears with purple tufts, and giant, fluffy purple and grey tail. Oh, but he'd make a lovely companion, if you can get him to stop chewing on you. His love is pointy, after all. His claws are so long they don't retract all the way, making him even pointier. But he's clever and just listen to that rumbling purr!

Oh, and one other thing. There's a very good chance he'll be in heat. And even if he's not, he's still very libidinous. Sorry about that.

b Are you the kind of pet person Azwel's looking for? He's after someone who can assist in his work and not push things off of shelves or knock things over with a wagging tail. A companion to curl up with on cold nights. A sexual partner. Is it you?

Sex Cult AU
There's a heady smoke in the air, a mist swirling grey-white under the full moon. A hypnotic drumbeat plays. Cloaked and hooded figures surround you, bear you along to the stone altar under the tall trees. They start a slow, circling dance and a low, sonorous chant slips into your hearing. At the altar stands another figure, clad in elabourate robes. He reaches up with beringed hands to remove his hood, revealing his face, long purple hair and beard surrounding pale features and a gaze that draws you in. He bids you step toward him. The ritual has begun.


As an added bonus, request Rule 63 of any of the above and hey, presto, Azwel was always a woman!


Got any other ideas? Feel free to throw them at me. ^.^

Comments

[goldenglasses]

"Drink it slow. If you gulp it down too much you'll find it coming back up." Vash had learned that the hard way.

He sits down on a hard chair in the room and fishes out a donut from a box he had been saving for the morning, but feeling like he needs one now. "Oh, don't worry about it. The room is paid for if I have a second guest or not." He holds out the box towards Azwel. "Want one?"

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel nods, taking another swallow of water, more slowly this time. He tilts his head to one side, regarding the box. "Oh--thank you." He reaches out a hand and plucks one from the box. His claws seem really long even at rest, as though they don't quite retract all the way. He takes a bite and smiles. "This is good," he murmurs.

After a beat, though, he grows quiet and thoughtful, chewing absently at the sugary thing. "I don't have anyplace to go--I don't actually live in this town. Maybe we can strike a deal." His ears press downward into his hair again as though in an effort to look harmless or maybe tractable. It's not a look that works all that well with his face, but he's trying.

[goldenglasses]

Vash notes the claws and wonders when was the last time Azwel has had a chance to properly take care of himself. Although that seems rude to ask so he keeps himself quiet about that for now. "Oh?" Vash raises an eyebrow. Curious as to what thought Azwel has in his head that causes his ears to go down like that. "What did you have in mind? Because I think you can see I don't exactly live in this town either."

[lovesuwithknives]

That's a good question, as they look clean and relatively smooth. They may simply grow far too fast, somehow congruent with his plentiful hair. He licks sugar off these claws, the little rasps on his tongue scratching against them almost inaudibly.

He'd answer the question, but he's distracted by the idea of Vash's own impermanence. "Do you travel a lot?" he asks, sounding almost wistful.

Phone why?

[goldenglasses]

"Ah-yep." Vash answers as he leans back lazily in the chair. The two front legs rising off the floor as he rocks on the heel of his foot. "I'm a professional drifter."

[lovesuwithknives]

"That's an occupation one doesn't see often," Azwel chuckles. "Though I reckon it's never boring." Well, that changes his plans a little. "How long will you be staying here?"

[goldenglasses]

Vash considers that a moment. How much will that man think back on? He's pretty sure he'll just think of Vash as a drunk and not notice the way he had basically danced around him.

"A couple weeks I think." As long as no one realizes who he was and starts shooting at him for the bounty. "Unless the itch to move on strikes me sooner." An itch like a bullet in the back or the insurance girls showing up and blowing his cover. They liked to shout the name Vash the Stampede a little too much.

[lovesuwithknives]

"Hmmm." Azwel looks into the distance for a moment, thinking. Or maybe coming to a decision.

"I don't feel right not repaying you somehow," he says, and that's mostly true--his people are there to serve, after all. And while he, himself, isn't overly fond of the idea, he's come to accept it. "I can assist you with... whatever it is you do? Fetch and carry? Figure out your finances? Offer you release?"

Well. Azwel is quite virile-looking. Most of his movements carry an ever-so-slightly flirtatious appearance to them, in addition to the unconscious sensuality many cat-people seem to put across. His scent is dark and musky-sweet.

And he looks at Vash with lidded eyes for a moment.

[goldenglasses]

"I'm out of work actually. So you don't need to figure out my-" Did he just say release? "WHOA! Ah! That won't be necessary." Vash coughs and tries to recover a bit. "N-Not that you're bad looking or anything!" In fact Azwel was actually really cute. "It's just, you know, not necessary. Like I said it's not like you're costing me anything by being here so don't worry about it."

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel chuckles, tail swishing. "Are you sure? You seem a little high-strung...." He reaches out one hand to draw it along Vash's arm, his fingers warm even through all the clothing.

[goldenglasses]

Vash gently places his hand over the one drawing down his arm. "I'm sure and you know... you don't have to do that. To anyone. If you don't want to."

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel remains still, taking in the feeling of the gloved hand on his own. There's something so undeniably intriguing about someone so covered-up, who has such a frenzied reaction to the mention of sex. Like a puzzle he wants to solve.

But he'll have to get past this rather confused state he's in right now, first.

"I don't quite understand," he says, ears angling downward again. His tail unconsciously curls around him. "This is usually what people bring us home for." Or, at least, it has been in his experience and that of every other cat-person he's known.

[goldenglasses]

"Usually doesn't mean it has to be all the time." Vash says with a gentle smile. "It should be about what you want as well. Not just what I want."

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel goes quiet, thinking. He'd been told for as long as he can remember that the tailless ones always wanted something from his people. It's why he'd decided to always get there, first. And yet, now, this one is being so... kind. He knows their ways and yet he can't find any guile in what he's hearing.

This Vash fellow really believes what he's saying.

So it makes Azwel stop and really ponder whether he wants to fuck or not. There's always a low-level desire there, sitting in the back of his mind, watchful and heated. And yet he hasn't completely recovered from that dizziness. Oh, but Vash is so intriguing... but he's weary....

He eases his hand away from the other's arm. "You're not like the others," he says. "You're... kind. It's not something I'm used to. It's... it's good, though." His tail relaxes somewhat, slipping from around him. "But I won't lie, I... need to be touched. Like all of my people do."

[goldenglasses]

"Really? You need it? You don't mean that you want it?" Vash hadn't considered that before. He always thought that most of Azwel's kind had simply wanted sex or had been forced into it. He had never considered a need to be a part of it.

[lovesuwithknives]

He nods. "Most of us do want this contact, as well. Like myself. We've adapted, you see, turned this need and want into something we can use to get by in the world."

"Then, also, there's the periodic heat we fall into. It's unavoidable, I'm afraid." He doesn't mention that he's felt his own stirring vaguely in the last day or so. No point in scaring the poor fellow.

[goldenglasses]

"That sounds... rough." Vash doesn't know what to say. Being one of only two of a species he's come to the assumption that sex is not something he should partake in. Too scared of if his strange genetics could possibly hurt the person he chooses to be with.

"Are you hungry?" He attempts to change the subject. "I could get you something to eat. Or would you just like to head to bed?"

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel doesn't miss this change of subject. But he doesn't really want to press the issue any further at the moment. The mention of food is tempting, but sleep even more so. He's so very, very tired.

Though not so much so that he can't manage a slightly teasing smile. "Mmm, and here I thought you weren't interested." He gives a soft chuckle. "I know you mean sleep. And I think I'd best take you up on that offer. It's... been quite a day." He yawns, showing pointed teeth, his ears flattening back for a moment.

[goldenglasses]

Vash face does turn a shade red at the teasing. It also doesn't help that Azwel looks pretty cute with the way his ears flatten against his head when he yawns. He clears his throat and attempts to get back in control. "So, um, you can take the bed. I can just... I'm not that tired. I'll just stay up a bit longer." Translation? He's going to try to sleep in the uncomfortable looking metal chair in the room.

[lovesuwithknives]

"You can join me," he says with a slight smile. After a beat, though, his mien grows more sincere. "I promise I won't do anything you don't wish me to. To be honest, I'm told I'm a pretty heavy sleeper. I likely won't even notice. But I'd appreciate the warmth."

[goldenglasses]

"It's alright. It's a small bed and I'm not exactly... comfortable to be smashed up against while sleeping. I snore and tend to roll around a lot." He also has a lot of scars. So many scars that his pajamas would mostly hide, but given how small the bed is there was no way Azwel wouldn't be likely to brush up against one in his sleep.

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel almost points out he, himself, would be better off on the floor or a random piece of furniture, as the ability to sleep anywhere is another thing his people share with actual cats. He even goes so far as to take a breath to speak, to say just that, or to try one of any number of tactics he's gathered over the years to get someone into bed with him.

But weariness overtakes him, instead. He wobbles slightly. "Oh..." he blinks. "Well... I don't like to kick a man out of his own bed, but... I fear I haven't a choice, it seems."

Now, he'd best lie down before he falls down. So he does just that, lying on top of the bed. It's not long at all before he's asleep. But what's that sound?

Purring. He's so content that he's purring in his sleep.

Do you want him to get spotted as a wanted man? Or everyone to stay clueless?

[goldenglasses]

Vash sighs softly and smiles when he hears that purring. He waits a couple hours to make sure Azwel is completely asleep before leaving some donuts out on a table for him to find. Then he heads out again. Looking to find someplace around here that might hire Azwel to work for them.

He starts getting frustrated when nearly all of them tell him to try the brothels. The problem starts coming when Vash hears whispers in the street that Vash the Stampede might be in town. Shit. Looks like he's been drawing too much attention to himself. He decides to head back to the room now.

Spotted! Oh noes!

[lovesuwithknives]

When Vash comes back he'll find Azwel has woken up and eaten and is oddly happy. He'll open the door to find him stretched out on his back on the sofa, idly tossing a ball of wadded-up paper in the air and catching it. He stops and tilts his head backward until he sees an upside-down Vash and grins.

"Hullo again! Where did you go?"

[goldenglasses]

"For a walk." Vash responds with a smile. "Did you leave any donuts for me?" He walks over and looks at where the donuts once were. He didn't mind if there weren't any left and will settle for eating a few crumbs. "So, before I showed up how do you usually survive around town?" Vash thinks he has a day or two before his cover is blown. He needs to quickly decide if it will be safe to ditch Azwel here of if he'll have to drag this cat around the desert.