AU Box

[lovesuwithknives]

Because I can't leave that Abstract Button alone, here's a bunch of AUs that roll about in my head that I figured I'd plop in here to see if anyone wants to bat them about.

Warnings apply for pretty much everything: smut, body horror, violence, nonconsensual science, cosmic horror, pregnancy, gender-switching, and probably more.


Wizarding AU
or
Harry Potter And The Contrived Fanfiction Plot

Is it Marauders-Era and you not only have to deal with them but this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? Or, even worse, is this during the books and you have to deal with all of that plus this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? This man looks like he just crawled out from under the floorboards of Voldemort's own goddamn house. He makes Snape look trustworthy. But boy does he know his stuff. And all kinds of other stuff. So what's Professor Azwel really about?


Cthulhu Mythos AU
or
The Call Of The Thing On The Living Room Floor Of The Witch-House Of The Terrible Old Man With The Silver Key To The Challenge From Beyond The Wall Of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Terrible things are afoot in New England in the 1920s. Fish-people and cultists and schlubs having horrible dreams are everywhere. Things are colours that don't exist. A squiggly symbol that scares the bejeezus out of you is scrawled on random surfaces. And what's that awful tekeli-li sound that rides the wind of an evening? What are those faceless flying creatures silhouetted against the moon? AND WHY IS AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL BUG MAN THING CLAIMING HE'S RANDOLPH CARTER? Nobody knows except a strange mystic from Europe who calls himself only 'Azwel' and seems to know an awful lot about and awful lot of things. Things man (or woman or bug) was not meant to know! Do you follow him to the hilltops or into the cypress swamps or wherever else he says the horrible tomes direct him or do you do the smart thing and run screaming into the night, trailing As as you go?


Domestic Fluff
or
How I Married A Mad Alchemist

Ah, wedded bliss. Family life and home sweet home. Is there anything like it? Probably not. You are Mr. Or Mrs. Azwel. His first name is a secret he just might someday tell you. In the meantime, you now live in a big sprawling house with either three or seventeen cats (never any other number), a plethora of alchemical paraphernalia, and a husband whom you have to tempt out of the lab to eat. But he's wealthy. And he loves you more than anything. He just... has a very unconventional way of showing it.


Sex Slave
or
Fuggit, I'm Running Out Of Titles.

a Did you get bought from the sex slave market by this odd, mysterious nobleman who only goes by one name? How will this 'Lord Azwel' even treat you? Only one way to find out, as he's bringing you home to his mansion full of books and alchemy. Oh, my.

b You're looking for that special sex slave. Well, this fellow is certainly eye-catching, all big and manly, windswept and interesting. Watch out, though, the owner says he's a bit mad, too clever by three quarters, and was sold to him as punishment for some crime nobody will disclose.


Experiments? Oh My!
It can be any time, really, the aim is the same. This strange genius who calls himself only 'Azwel' has you locked up in his laboratory. He has a mission, you see, and that mission is to extract a very, very specific kind of energy from you. It can only be collected during orgasm. Oh, but he's terribly clever at getting people to that state....


Vampire AU
a Blaaaaaa! A mysterious alchemist who never goes out in the daytime has moved into that spooky castle. And at the same time there's tell of a mysterious fiend roaming the streets at night, ravishing nubile young maidens and... whatever the young gentleman equivalent may be... and draining their blood! Can anyone draw the obvious conclusion between these nocturnal shenanigans and that weird Count Azwel?

b You vampire, you! You've somehow gone and caught yourself a nosy alchemist who insists on being called only 'Azwel.' His fault for trying to investigate your castle/house/apartment/yurt/whatever, I suppose. Now what will you do with him? My, but he's a robust-looking fellow who'll certainly serve as a ready food supply....


Girl Genius AU
Explosions! Terrible mad science! Toothy monsters with cheesy accents! Giant switches actually labelled 'MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!' Gleeful destruction! Exclamation marks! Just what have you gotten yourself into walking into the midst of Mechanicsburg in a random era ruled by Azwel Heterodyne The Madder Than Usual?

Pet Person AU
a Who doesn't like a big fluffy kitty? A... really big, fluffy kitty. Even though he prefers to wear clothes, one can see just how fluffy Azwel is by his purple hair and beard, soft grey ears with purple tufts, and giant, fluffy purple and grey tail. Oh, but he'd make a lovely companion, if you can get him to stop chewing on you. His love is pointy, after all. His claws are so long they don't retract all the way, making him even pointier. But he's clever and just listen to that rumbling purr!

Oh, and one other thing. There's a very good chance he'll be in heat. And even if he's not, he's still very libidinous. Sorry about that.

b Are you the kind of pet person Azwel's looking for? He's after someone who can assist in his work and not push things off of shelves or knock things over with a wagging tail. A companion to curl up with on cold nights. A sexual partner. Is it you?

Sex Cult AU
There's a heady smoke in the air, a mist swirling grey-white under the full moon. A hypnotic drumbeat plays. Cloaked and hooded figures surround you, bear you along to the stone altar under the tall trees. They start a slow, circling dance and a low, sonorous chant slips into your hearing. At the altar stands another figure, clad in elabourate robes. He reaches up with beringed hands to remove his hood, revealing his face, long purple hair and beard surrounding pale features and a gaze that draws you in. He bids you step toward him. The ritual has begun.


As an added bonus, request Rule 63 of any of the above and hey, presto, Azwel was always a woman!


Got any other ideas? Feel free to throw them at me. ^.^

Comments

[lovesuwithknives]

She finds herself staring hungrily at the fruits, eyes wide and lips parted, unable to remember the last time she'd eaten something that wasn't cheap gruel or spoilt leftovers. She picks up a deep red apple with a whisper of thanks, her hands shaking, and bites into it.

She can't help the soft moan that escapes her, her eyes falling shut. The tart flavour tightens the little spots at the corners of her jaw and a few small tears wet her eyelashes. But when she notices she's being watched she quickly schools her features, discreetly rubbing the tears away and taking a deep breath to hopefully calm the flush in her face.

Especially when she's asked about her past. "I wasn't always a slave," she says, her eyes anywhere other than her new owner. "My family were wealthy scholars."

[vlad_the_impaler]

Vlad paid the man and is very amused at her enjoyment of the apple. "Do you enjoy that?" And decided to buy a box of strawberries just in case. "I have some more here." Since Vlad is carrying a bag of fruits.

Seeing her tears, Vlad waiting calmly, his expression is gentle and remained unchanged. "A family of scholars was they? Knowledge is valuable. What do they study and research?" As he asked, he kept a mental note to perhaps someday help Azwel find her original home if he could. "Do you know where they are? Your family?"

With a nod, he expected her to follow him as he walks further down a few blocks until the inn is in sight. It was a fancy inn. "Come with me. I was traveling through this village on vacation, so this isn't my home. I was my way home, but decided to hop off the train on a whim."

[lovesuwithknives]

"I do," she says, and it's rather sad that a simple fruit would make her tear up. Still, it's good to know she can feel something other than resentment. In fact, the further discussion of her family makes her smile slightly. "They studied more or less everything, as did I," she says. "Most of them have died--accidents, plague, my eldest brother was killed in a duel. As far as I know the only one left other than me is my sister, but I haven't seen her in years." Her smile turns wistful. "We went in separate ways to find our destinies."

She looks at the outside of the inn for a moment, momentarily intimidated by someplace so rich. Then she shakes her head. She's been in these kinds of places before, so long ago.

"Where is home for you, if you don't mind my asking?"

[vlad_the_impaler]

"I'm sorry to hear that. What happened to your family." Poor girl, how did she ended up here? Vlad truly detest the idea of slavery. At her question, "Where is my home? It's a castle in the mountains far away." He answered. "I was traveling through these parts. The way home is hours by the train. I'm a count." He simply answered, revealing he's a nobleman of noble birth.

Once he's at the inn and he checked in and paid for her, before leading her to his room. "Are you afraid that I will take advantage of you? You should have no fear of me. I wish to free you from that place."

He can sense the girl's loneliness and separation from her real family. "Let me know what I can do for you. It's the least I can do for your trouble." He said comforting words to lift her burden.