AU Box

[lovesuwithknives]

Because I can't leave that Abstract Button alone, here's a bunch of AUs that roll about in my head that I figured I'd plop in here to see if anyone wants to bat them about.

Warnings apply for pretty much everything: smut, body horror, violence, nonconsensual science, cosmic horror, pregnancy, gender-switching, and probably more.


Wizarding AU
or
Harry Potter And The Contrived Fanfiction Plot

Is it Marauders-Era and you not only have to deal with them but this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? Or, even worse, is this during the books and you have to deal with all of that plus this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? This man looks like he just crawled out from under the floorboards of Voldemort's own goddamn house. He makes Snape look trustworthy. But boy does he know his stuff. And all kinds of other stuff. So what's Professor Azwel really about?


Cthulhu Mythos AU
or
The Call Of The Thing On The Living Room Floor Of The Witch-House Of The Terrible Old Man With The Silver Key To The Challenge From Beyond The Wall Of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Terrible things are afoot in New England in the 1920s. Fish-people and cultists and schlubs having horrible dreams are everywhere. Things are colours that don't exist. A squiggly symbol that scares the bejeezus out of you is scrawled on random surfaces. And what's that awful tekeli-li sound that rides the wind of an evening? What are those faceless flying creatures silhouetted against the moon? AND WHY IS AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL BUG MAN THING CLAIMING HE'S RANDOLPH CARTER? Nobody knows except a strange mystic from Europe who calls himself only 'Azwel' and seems to know an awful lot about and awful lot of things. Things man (or woman or bug) was not meant to know! Do you follow him to the hilltops or into the cypress swamps or wherever else he says the horrible tomes direct him or do you do the smart thing and run screaming into the night, trailing As as you go?


Domestic Fluff
or
How I Married A Mad Alchemist

Ah, wedded bliss. Family life and home sweet home. Is there anything like it? Probably not. You are Mr. Or Mrs. Azwel. His first name is a secret he just might someday tell you. In the meantime, you now live in a big sprawling house with either three or seventeen cats (never any other number), a plethora of alchemical paraphernalia, and a husband whom you have to tempt out of the lab to eat. But he's wealthy. And he loves you more than anything. He just... has a very unconventional way of showing it.


Sex Slave
or
Fuggit, I'm Running Out Of Titles.

a Did you get bought from the sex slave market by this odd, mysterious nobleman who only goes by one name? How will this 'Lord Azwel' even treat you? Only one way to find out, as he's bringing you home to his mansion full of books and alchemy. Oh, my.

b You're looking for that special sex slave. Well, this fellow is certainly eye-catching, all big and manly, windswept and interesting. Watch out, though, the owner says he's a bit mad, too clever by three quarters, and was sold to him as punishment for some crime nobody will disclose.


Experiments? Oh My!
It can be any time, really, the aim is the same. This strange genius who calls himself only 'Azwel' has you locked up in his laboratory. He has a mission, you see, and that mission is to extract a very, very specific kind of energy from you. It can only be collected during orgasm. Oh, but he's terribly clever at getting people to that state....


Vampire AU
a Blaaaaaa! A mysterious alchemist who never goes out in the daytime has moved into that spooky castle. And at the same time there's tell of a mysterious fiend roaming the streets at night, ravishing nubile young maidens and... whatever the young gentleman equivalent may be... and draining their blood! Can anyone draw the obvious conclusion between these nocturnal shenanigans and that weird Count Azwel?

b You vampire, you! You've somehow gone and caught yourself a nosy alchemist who insists on being called only 'Azwel.' His fault for trying to investigate your castle/house/apartment/yurt/whatever, I suppose. Now what will you do with him? My, but he's a robust-looking fellow who'll certainly serve as a ready food supply....


Girl Genius AU
Explosions! Terrible mad science! Toothy monsters with cheesy accents! Giant switches actually labelled 'MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!' Gleeful destruction! Exclamation marks! Just what have you gotten yourself into walking into the midst of Mechanicsburg in a random era ruled by Azwel Heterodyne The Madder Than Usual?

Pet Person AU
a Who doesn't like a big fluffy kitty? A... really big, fluffy kitty. Even though he prefers to wear clothes, one can see just how fluffy Azwel is by his purple hair and beard, soft grey ears with purple tufts, and giant, fluffy purple and grey tail. Oh, but he'd make a lovely companion, if you can get him to stop chewing on you. His love is pointy, after all. His claws are so long they don't retract all the way, making him even pointier. But he's clever and just listen to that rumbling purr!

Oh, and one other thing. There's a very good chance he'll be in heat. And even if he's not, he's still very libidinous. Sorry about that.

b Are you the kind of pet person Azwel's looking for? He's after someone who can assist in his work and not push things off of shelves or knock things over with a wagging tail. A companion to curl up with on cold nights. A sexual partner. Is it you?

Sex Cult AU
There's a heady smoke in the air, a mist swirling grey-white under the full moon. A hypnotic drumbeat plays. Cloaked and hooded figures surround you, bear you along to the stone altar under the tall trees. They start a slow, circling dance and a low, sonorous chant slips into your hearing. At the altar stands another figure, clad in elabourate robes. He reaches up with beringed hands to remove his hood, revealing his face, long purple hair and beard surrounding pale features and a gaze that draws you in. He bids you step toward him. The ritual has begun.


As an added bonus, request Rule 63 of any of the above and hey, presto, Azwel was always a woman!


Got any other ideas? Feel free to throw them at me. ^.^

Comments

[wildphase]

He's spent the better part of his time away learning, of course, and if he'd totally had his wits about him, he likely could have done better, here, but he doesn't. What he's running in his head as the woman shoves him out of the way and swings is that if Azwel currently believes he's winning, Carden is clearly going to have to go away and learn some better time magic to come back earlier in this world's timeline and talk to Azwel when he's sane (or at least, saner), because this... is not what winning looks like.

He's pretty sure, at least.

It's actually only the slightest of... vibrations? Seventh senses? Something he can feel in the energy around them, that keeps him from killing the woman where she stands when she apparently kills Azwel. He's worked so hard for this.

But Azwel's died in front of him once before and he'd been pumped full of enough magic then to know what it felt like. This... doesn't feel like that. So he's already taking a step towards him as the woman runs off,

"So. That was the plan then?" he says as Azwel opens his eyes and it's hard to tell if he's being sarcastic or genuinely asking.

[lovesuwithknives]

There's a pause of a few beats as Azwel blinks at him. He takes a breath to speak, then stops. No. Tries again. Stops. No. Eventually he at least comes to the realisation that he looks ridiculous sprawled on the ground like this and sits up. The particles of the singularity cling to him in a shimmering dust. The light he was emitting has died down, now.

"Oh. It's all come apart," he says, looking about, mild confusion on his face. "It wasn't the plan, no. The plan was to rid myself of that wretched Conduit and unleash the Ultimate Seed upon the world to rid it of the Evil Seed once and for all and..." he stops and his head drops forward, his shoulders shaking. After a moment he looks up again and it's clear that he's laughing. He snickers and chortles in a manner that's probably very familiar to Carden.

"I do think time is broken, now," he says, taking a breath to calm himself. "Who are you?" he finally asks.

[wildphase]

"That doesn't sound particularly good," he comments, looking at Azwel laughing for a long moment. He offers a hand to help him to his feet, "So you don't remember, then." It's a little disappointing, but he hadn't remembered at first either, so he's not stymied. "Carden Emrys" He's fairly sure that Azwel will at the very least be interested in the name, if nothing else. It might be better to give the name he'd had before, but it's not a name he's gone by in a while and he also is pretty sure if he doesn't want to hit Azwel in the head with a two by four, he's going to have to keep his attention somehow.

He looks around,

"Is anything here about to explode? I'm something of a walking long story and we really don't have time for it if we need need to get out of here in a hurry."

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel takes the offered hand, letting Carden pull him to his feet. The Chaos energy pulses briefly, like a wobbling soap bubble. He pauses, though, looking at his hand, flexing the fingers, a puzzled look on his face.

"That name, I... d'you know I think I've heard it before?" He peers closely at Carden. "Can't for the life of me place where, though."

The question interrupts his odd little reverie. "Hm? Oh, no the astral fissure has closed. Dispersed, more like. The area's as stable as it's always been. I can sense it. Now, why don't you tell me this long story, hm?"

He starts walking, heading away from the barren space.

[wildphase]

"I'd have think you'd heard of Merlin before, if nothing else, given your associations," he grins, lopsided, the one that the old Azwel would have known promises mischief. He still doesn't actually wholly claim that legacy, even now. He's still Carden, for a start, and always will be. But putting "Emrys" there is both a way to protect his family in his own world and a way to claim a bit of his other birthright in the same go.

He's thought about another name change, too, but it's still a bit too soon to discuss that.

"Mostly worried about that time has broken business," he says, casual as can be, "but the immediate threat of explosions is the more immediate concern, of course. Are you going to get attacked if we just... walk through town?" he asks, also casually, as he falls into step with him. "It was something of a war zone out there on the way in."

He's not telling the long story yet, but he's sure letting Azwel see the shape of it-- he clearly seems to know him, knows at least some of what he's been up to (not that Azwel has ever seemed... subtle about that) and clearly did just walk through said war zone just to get to him. That says something even before he starts to tell anything.

[lovesuwithknives]

"Of course I have, those Aval fools wouldn't shut up about him or King Arthur." The idea that this fellow could be associated with the abovementioned never crosses his mind. They aren't subtle beings--if this Carden was with them he would have stabbed Azwel already.

There is something familiar about that grin. Where's he seen it before?

Anyway, another idea has come up. "Ah, that. You see, even if it breaks it never stays broken. It's realigning itself. Shifting." He blinks. "Well, this may have spawned a completely different waveform! I shall have to explore this further!"

Town? He has to think on that for a moment. Granted, he's not gone about harrassing the locals himself, but he's not exactly subtle in his appearance, either. Then again, no-one's really put his name to his face.

Sure, he can blithely wander into the nearest town bare-chested and esoterically armed, why not?

"Oh, I shouldn't think that'll happen unless you've been making enemies."

Hang about. A tree has apparently grown a ridiculous-looking robe or five. "Ah, so there's where that's got to. Always amusing discovering where my clothes turn up," he remarks blithely, pulling the garments from the branch. Pardon him while he covers up again.

[wildphase]

"None that I know of. It was more that it was like walking through a war zone to get here. I suppose a few people in those odd uniforms might not be all that fond of me. I had to fight a few of them just to get here. I doubt they're just going to be quietly reopening anything right around here for some time." He can't help but arch an eyebrow slightly at the sight of Azwel blithely picking his clothes out of a tree,

"Is that a common problem? Losing your clothing and not knowing where it's ended up?" oh yes, that's definitely intentional, the way he says that.

He'd really like to also talk about whatever time-shenanigans are happening here, but there's only so much one can do to keep up with Azwel in top conversational form.

[lovesuwithknives]

"Hm, well, that's typical these days. The people in the uniforms, that is." He's managed to get all that clothing on around the trousers and ridiculously elabourate belt he'd been already wearing, even tucking parts of the sleeves into the gauntlets. He looks about and spies what appears to be a pair wild Giant Forest Ribbons, picking them up and giving them a sharp flap. They twine around him and sort of settle about his shoulders, two ends of them floating in the air above his head.

He won't be able to explain that.

He grins at the question, though. "Yes, as a matter of fact. Haven't gotten into a lot of fights, have you? I've yet to really work out why clothing so often goes flying during them, but it does. You missed out--one time I fought someone in a draughty old castle and ended up in nothing more than my smallclothes!"

No, Azwel has never had an ounce of shame. Besides, he's worked hard for this ridiculous physique. Of course he's going to show it off!

"As to things being reopened, you'd be surprised. There's always a quiet little inn tucked away somewhere where people can talk, strike deals, make ill-conceived plans, and so on."

[wildphase]

"I tend to try to stay away from physical fighting," he makes a little gesture with his hand upright in explanation, water curling like smoke between his fingers for a moment before vanishing, "When I can help it, anyway," he can't help the way either his mouth or his tone curls around the words, "I had a good teacher, for basic sparring, but I still prefer magic, when I can."

"Though, come to think of it, I tend to lose my clothes a fair amount doing that too, no thanks to some people...," that's not really intended for Azwel to hear, but he doesn't try to keep it from him, exactly either.

"Do you know of such an inn?" he adds, louder, then does that grin again, "I might be about to make some ill-conceived plans."

[lovesuwithknives]

"Oh, that is impressive!" Azwel says, his tone quite genuine. He does notice that tone and he'll ask about it later. Right now he's more interested in that magick.

And in the idea of ill-conceived plans. "Oh, so? Let's make our way there, then!"

They continue walking through a forest and onto a path where a collection of buildings sit in the distance. "So... where did you learn to do that? Please don't tell me it involved a small, loud-voiced woman from China....."

[wildphase]

They've made their way away from prying eyes quickly and so after a glance around to make sure they aren't being observed, Carden shakes his head,

"No, nothing of the sort. That's uh... part of all of the long-story I warned you I was." He finally lets a different kind of smile out, the scheming one, the one where he's about to do something ill-advised and probably equally stupid and attractive. "I learned it from you. And others," he adds, after a moment, "but you were instrumental."

And then he gestures and he's holding his world's version of Excalibur. It's a more solid version, and is more water than raw energy where it forms and then falls away after a moment as he dismisses it, but it's easy to see echoes of blue energy around it, visually, clearly both different from what Azwel has been doing with Palindrome, but also very clearly inspired by it.

[lovesuwithknives]

azwel.exe has stopped working.

"Come again?"

He actually startles a bit when Palindrome reacts, flickering when Carden conjures the sword.

There's a beat or so that passes as Azwel's mind battles furiously with itself between suspiciously demanding what's going on or being delighted at the idea of an alternate timeline wherein he and this fellow know one another.

As is typical with Azwel, the delight wins out.

"Well! That is not something one sees every day! Tell me more--how do we know one another? Is it an alternate timeline?"

[wildphase]

Carden laughs at that, shrugs,

"I think it's more correct to say an alternate universe, though time did seem to work differently there? I had lost all my memories of it at first and had to be reminded. You might be the same way. At the very least, I believe this is the correct version of you, the one I knew, I mean." To the question of how they knew each other, he can't help the blush, though perhaps since they're still walking it's not as noticeable as it might have been face to face. But he's grinning.

"It's complicated. I think if you don't remember anything, it's best to say that I met you at a social function and, shortly after, bailed you out of prison under... slightly false pretenses," look, it sounds a lot better than we fucked while we were both out of our minds on drugs and then I basically bought you. "I didn't discover the talent for magic until later."

[lovesuwithknives]

"Have you been hunting down different versions of me? Hopping through astral fissures and rescuing every Azwel you meet? A noble goal, that--there may be versions of me out there who really need rescued!"

They make their way amidst the buildings, now, and apart from a few suspicious stares, there isn't much reaction to their presence.

"That sounds believable, really. I wonder what I ended up in prison for... But more interestingly, you say you had lost your memories of it--how did you regain them?"

[wildphase]

"No, it took a while to hone in on the right one, but dimensional hopping (and staying safe and sane while you do it) is pretty difficult, even for someone like me. I wanted to make sure I had it right first. And I'm certain I did." Carden answers the easy question first, "Being belligerent and not following the rules. I think it might have had something to do with a certain woman you knew," he lets his lips curve in a small smile, "Once you remember, I'll be happy to help you find her, too, if you want to. She sounded like her current life wasn't enviable, when we spoke."

He has to think about the rest for a moment. There are a lot of ways to answer that question and some of them are more... interesting than others.

"I think I might have eventually remembered some things on my own. There were things about me that were... different, when I returned and I knew that they were different, I just didn't know why," he looks over at Azwel and grins, "But a past lover showed up through a dimensional rift in space and fucked me into remembering," he shrugs, as though he hasn't at all made any implications about what he's here to do, "It seemed to work well enough."

[lovesuwithknives]

"Oh-hoh, the plot thickens! My ending up in jail for love sounds so much like something I'd do that I think I'm starting to believe you!"

He stops in front of a place that looks a lot like an inn. True to his theory, the place appears open. But that isn't what has Azwel's attention. Instead, Carden's latest statement does.

"As one does," he remarks before a positively wolfish smile crosses his face. "You know, if that's your intention, I won't say no. Regardless of whether it works or not, it sounds like a good time, yes?"

With that he turns and walks into the inn.

[wildphase]

"I was considering it," he's done a bit of growing up in the intervening time, and that's said with a non-nonchalance and smirk that Carden would definitely not have been able to bring to bear before. He does still flush though, tone aside, because some things never change. "But I also was interested to see if you remembered anything on your own."

He follows him inside after that, taking his lead on what to do to secure a table and beverages. He doesn't bother with a room, but if Azwel does, he certainly doesn't comment on it.

"Still. If the memories prove elusive," he'll continue after they get settled, "I'm certainly not opposed to a certain degree of experimentation."

That's definitely a grin to potentially spark a few really good memories, all on it's own.

[lovesuwithknives]

Azwel does, indeed, arrange for a room because, if nothing else, anyone's energy will run out after a fight like he's had.

But that's not going to happen quite yet. In the meantime, drinks are indeed called for and after procuring them he leads Carden to a table tucked into a corner. There he sits and, before doing anything else, he unfastens the tiny catches and slips the gauntlets off. That same odd magickal hum cuts out as the circuit is broken. He peels off the gloves and arm-wrappings, revealing slight burns on the back of each wrist. He actually pauses and regards it for a moment. "Hm."

Then he takes a long drink. Clearly being cheered by alcohol is something that's always been true about him, because he grins at the idea Carden's putting forth.

However, the smile on Carden's face does send a few memories flickering through Azwel's mind, fleeting and indistinct. A few things stick, though.

"Those winter nights...." he muses, his gaze going distant for a moment. "It felt so good, the way we kept warm...." He blinks, then seems to come to a decision. He reaches out his left hand to grasp Carden's with it, on nothing more than the principle that like calls to like, wondering if the Spirit Sword energy still flickering in his skin would somehow connect with Carden's own magick.

[wildphase]

His gaze is immediately drawn to Palindrome and he's reaching out before he even realizes he's going to, fingers tracing over the edges of the gauntlets. He shudders in memory,

"I was wondering if they'd still call to me, even though I know they don't remember me at all. I guess it's enough that I remember," his voice is more subdued than it has been, and he'll actually reach for that connecting touch as Azwel reaches, though he immediately turns his wrist to better look, "I don't remember them doing that before..."

His eyes flicker closed at the touch, the words, the lightest pressure of a familiar energy against his own, and a slight blush settles on his cheeks,

"I see you remember some things, at least a little," his smile is warm, the look in his eyes not even trying to hide that, for all he was being flippant about them having sex a moment ago, he wasn't joking about it, but more trying not to get his hopes up. "I'd heal you," he says of the burns, "but then we're definitely going to get kicked out."

[lovesuwithknives]

There's a small stirring of that same calling from the shards, which makes Azwel glance at them before returning his attention to Carden. He can feel something so very familiar about the other's magick, something that brings an answering flush to his skin and a warm darkening to his eyes.

At the last statement, though, Azwel quirks an eyebrow. "Oh? And why would we get thrown out?"

[wildphase]

He lets just the slightest curl of magic out, just a deepening of the press of his fingers, light and casual, but he knows what merging their magics has always done to Azwel and, if he's honest, what it usually does to him as well.

"Indecent exposure," he says, the side of his mouth quirking just slightly, his eyes never leaving Azwel's. He leaves it open ended whether he means Azwel's reaction or his own, mostly because it's usually both of them being equally guilty.

[lovesuwithknives]

It curls and wicks into Azwel's skin, lighting up his nerves in a way so few things have ever done. Sweet fire races into his spine, just this side of overwhelming...

It leaves him breathless, heat gathering at the base of his spine and between his legs. The sheer familiarity with which Carden answers his question tells him they must have gotten up to some fun--

A sudden memory hits him. The two of them in an alleyway, bodies entwined, heedless of any who might see. It is sheer bliss on its own, and yet there's so much more, their magicks and their very souls fitted so perfectly together....

A recognisably hungry looks crosses Azwel's face, wolfish and lustful, so very like the look Carden knows so well and yet with a bit of an edge to it.

"You know, memories or no memories, I find I want very much to take you up on this offer," that velvety tone has crept into his voice. "Fortuitous, then, that I've already secured a room." He reluctantly lets go of Carden's hand and drains the rest of his drink in a single gulp.

Gathering gloves and gauntlets he stands and, really, those elabourate robes of his are far too good at hiding the effect this has been having on him. "Shall we?"

[wildphase]

Carden can't help but laugh at that, smirking as he tosses back at least some more of his own drink and stands to head upstairs. There's a bit of a tease in his grin at how quickly Azwel's agreed to this, but then, he'd be lying if he said he was hoping for any other outcome. It's flickered through his head that he's probably somewhat taking advantage here, that they should slow down and he should let memories happen before sleeping together, or at least stop playing around with the whole thing.

... but since when has "should" ever stopped either one of them, particularly when it comes to the two of them together?

"Healing first," he says, on their way up to the room, trying to be firm about it. He means it, but then, literally all it's going to take to distract him is touch at this point.

[lovesuwithknives]

"If you insist," Azwel chuckles. "I can't exactly say no to that."

Well. He could. But that'd be stupid.

They make their way to the room, which is rather nice, all considered. As soon as they're inside, though, he closes the door and then heads right to the bed. He sits on it, the look on his face almost challenging Carden to ask why he picked that out of any of the other furniture.

He reaches down and unfastens his equally elabourate footwear with slight metallic jangling sounds, kicking the sandals off.

"I won't say I don't need it," he says quietly, now. He pulls the circlet from his hair and thick purple waves fall down around his face, making him look that much more like the Azwel Carden knows. Whether more memories have returned or not is difficult to tell just by looking, but there's a flash of that same vulnerability he'd had that day after Carden had brought him home from the People Zoo.

[wildphase]

Carden watches him for a moment and then grins slightly, crossing over to stand right in front of him, between his legs if he'll let him, after he takes his shoes off,

"More than just your wrists then?" he turns his back to Azwel, wrapping his hands delicately around one of his wrists, careful to not touch the burnt places as he brings it up to his mouth, laying a gentle kiss against the skin there, a pulse of magic from the touch burrowing in to heal the smaller hurt. Azwel's vulnerability always makes Carden turn even more tender than usual and this is no exception.