lovesuwithknives

AU Box

Because I can't leave that Abstract Button alone, here's a bunch of AUs that roll about in my head that I figured I'd plop in here to see if anyone wants to bat them about.

Warnings apply for pretty much everything: smut, body horror, violence, nonconsensual science, cosmic horror, pregnancy, gender-switching, and probably more.

Wizarding AU
or
Harry Potter And The Contrived Fanfiction Plot

Is it Marauders-Era and you not only have to deal with them but this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? Or, even worse, is this during the books and you have to deal with all of that plus this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? This man looks like he just crawled out from under the floorboards of Voldemort's own goddamn house. He makes Snape look trustworthy. But boy does he know his stuff. And all kinds of other stuff. So what's Professor Azwel really about?

Cthulhu Mythos AU
or
The Call Of The Thing On The Living Room Floor Of The Witch-House Of The Terrible Old Man With The Silver Key To The Challenge From Beyond The Wall Of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Terrible things are afoot in New England in the 1920s. Fish-people and cultists and schlubs having horrible dreams are everywhere. Things are colours that don't exist. A squiggly symbol that scares the bejeezus out of you is scrawled on random surfaces. And what's that awful tekeli-li sound that rides the wind of an evening? What are those faceless flying creatures silhouetted against the moon? AND WHY IS AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL BUG MAN THING CLAIMING HE'S RANDOLPH CARTER? Nobody knows except a strange mystic from Europe who calls himself only 'Azwel' and seems to know an awful lot about and awful lot of things. Things man (or woman or bug) was not meant to know! Do you follow him to the hilltops or into the cypress swamps or wherever else he says the horrible tomes direct him or do you do the smart thing and run screaming into the night, trailing As as you go?

Domestic Fluff
or
How I Married A Mad Alchemist

Ah, wedded bliss. Family life and home sweet home. Is there anything like it? Probably not. You are Mr. Or Mrs. Azwel. His first name is a secret he just might someday tell you. In the meantime, you now live in a big sprawling house with either three or seventeen cats (never any other number), a plethora of alchemical paraphernalia, and a husband whom you have to tempt out of the lab to eat. But he's wealthy. And he loves you more than anything. He just... has a very unconventional way of showing it.

Sex Slave
or
Fuggit, I'm Running Out Of Titles.

a Did you get bought from the sex slave market by this odd, mysterious nobleman who only goes by one name? How will this 'Lord Azwel' even treat you? Only one way to find out, as he's bringing you home to his mansion full of books and alchemy. Oh, my.

b You're looking for that special sex slave. Well, this fellow is certainly eye-catching, all big and manly, windswept and interesting. Watch out, though, the owner says he's a bit mad, too clever by three quarters, and was sold to him as punishment for some crime nobody will disclose.

Experiments? Oh My!
It can be any time, really, the aim is the same. This strange genius who calls himself only 'Azwel' has you locked up in his laboratory. He has a mission, you see, and that mission is to extract a very, very specific kind of energy from you. It can only be collected during orgasm. Oh, but he's terribly clever at getting people to that state....

Vampire AU
a Blaaaaaa! A mysterious alchemist who never goes out in the daytime has moved into that spooky castle. And at the same time there's tell of a mysterious fiend roaming the streets at night, ravishing nubile young maidens and... whatever the young gentleman equivalent may be... and draining their blood! Can anyone draw the obvious conclusion between these nocturnal shenanigans and that weird Count Azwel?

b You vampire, you! You've somehow gone and caught yourself a nosy alchemist who insists on being called only 'Azwel.' His fault for trying to investigate your castle/house/apartment/yurt/whatever, I suppose. Now what will you do with him? My, but he's a robust-looking fellow who'll certainly serve as a ready food supply....

Girl Genius AU
Explosions! Terrible mad science! Toothy monsters with cheesy accents! Giant switches actually labelled 'MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!' Gleeful destruction! Exclamation marks! Just what have you gotten yourself into walking into the midst of Mechanicsburg in a random era ruled by Azwel Heterodyne The Madder Than Usual?

Pet Person AU
a Who doesn't like a big fluffy kitty? A... really big, fluffy kitty. Even though he prefers to wear clothes, one can see just how fluffy Azwel is by his purple hair and beard, soft grey ears with purple tufts, and giant, fluffy purple and grey tail. Oh, but he'd make a lovely companion, if you can get him to stop chewing on you. His love is pointy, after all. His claws are so long they don't retract all the way, making him even pointier. But he's clever and just listen to that rumbling purr!

Oh, and one other thing. There's a very good chance he'll be in heat. And even if he's not, he's still very libidinous. Sorry about that.

b Are you the kind of pet person Azwel's looking for? He's after someone who can assist in his work and not push things off of shelves or knock things over with a wagging tail. A companion to curl up with on cold nights. A sexual partner. Is it you?

Sex Cult AU
There's a heady smoke in the air, a mist swirling grey-white under the full moon. A hypnotic drumbeat plays. Cloaked and hooded figures surround you, bear you along to the stone altar under the tall trees. They start a slow, circling dance and a low, sonorous chant slips into your hearing. At the altar stands another figure, clad in elabourate robes. He reaches up with beringed hands to remove his hood, revealing his face, long purple hair and beard surrounding pale features and a gaze that draws you in. He bids you step toward him. The ritual has begun.

As an added bonus, request Rule 63 of any of the above and hey, presto, Azwel was always a woman!

Got any other ideas? Feel free to throw them at me. ^.^

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She is lovely. Ethereal. And if she looks in his direction she'll see he's utterly wonderstruck. He can't quite... seem to push his emotions back and out of the way.

When she moves back into the shadows the spell is broken and he manages to compose himself. More or less.

"There are things I wish to learn," he answers. "Questions I will have answered. In time." As in, once he's sorted his own emotions. "The doors are this way," he gestures more or less in their direction.

She wasn't quite sure why he was giving her that wonder struck look. It didn't even occur to her that he might find her beautiful in the moonlight. But, once she was in the shadows again..

Rip prowled around, poking at things as she listened to him speak and felt her frustration grow a little. That really wasn't an answer to her question. Not even close! She growled at him for a brief moment before he motioned towards the doors. Knowing where those are would be a very good thing to know. "What kind of Questions. I'm not your lab rat, you know."

"Of course not. I have no intention of running any kind of experimental procedure on you. It won't yield the kind of answers I wish to find. Any tests would only involve natural observation." Strangely, he sounds clipped, now.

He pulls the door open and takes a deep breath, watching her step outside. "Anything done in a laboratory setting will not tell me how she died, or why...." he trails off and clenches his jaw shut.

It's like pulling teeth, getting any kind of information out of this man.

At least that put a few of her worries at ease..Rip wasn't about to become someone's guinea pig if she could prevent it. but, he also raised several more questions. Like, why he would want to observe a vampire in the first place.

Or even... 'who died'? Whoever it was, must have meant something to him. That's all she could figure before she steps outside the doors and draws in a deep breath.

"Whatever it is you're hoping to learn from me, good luck. I'm just a vampire and apparently not the best at avoiding slavers." Her voice held a hint of annoyance at that. Rip made her way past the doors, surveying what lay before her with curiosity.

The grounds, spreading out under the moonlight, don't appear that interesting until one makes one's way around the house. Then it rises and dips in small hills and valleys, bordered on one side by a forest. On another side, near the house, a wall stands, solid and plain. And between the wall and the forest the land stretches off into a moor in which a line of curious standing stones resemble nothing more than a half-disassembled fence. The grounds cover several miles, it seems, and the more one attunes one's senses the more one can tell how varied these grounds are. Animals live in the woods and on the moor; and on the other side of the wall lay gardens and, further along, a large pond doubtless full of fish and waterfowl.

All the while Azwel watches her, his face unreadable. "On the contrary, I think I shall learn a great deal."

To a human, the grounds might not be interesting at first sight. To her? Every little sound drew her attention as she glanced to the forest. Where many saw shadows, she saw the creatures hiding among the trees and brush as if they were standing in plain sight. Every scent.. every sound. Every sight. Rip saw it all as she glanced from the forest towards the moors and then to the gardens.

The moonlight illuminated everything to her sensitive eyes as she seemed to drift more into a relaxed state being out among the wilderness or, what passed for it on his estate. Her focus was only broken when he spoke again, gaining a passing glance from her. "I highly doubt it."

Whatever he wanted to learn, Rip wasn't going to let him out of spite. Though, her curiosity did beg to answer the question of what his plan was for her. All to soon her attention was back to the lands before her and if he didn't stop her, she was taking off for the forests.

Her movements were fast and graceful with barely a sound to be heard as she broke the treeline and delved silently in. It would become very apparent that she was chasing after a deer that had caught her attention. For Rip, it didn't take much to run it down and capture the creature, tearing out its throat with an ease that spoke of countless hunts just like this one. Rip was no stranger to eating animals when she couldn't get humans.

Once the deer was drained, she left the carcass and licked up whatever blood had been on her hands. "Zhe only thing you vill learn from me iz death und zhe various vays I can kill a creature to my satisfaction."

The moment she takes off running, he's right behind her, much more fleet-footed than one would think someone his size, wearing so much, would be. Granted, he's still not as quick as she is, but he never loses sight of her, either. Even in the forest, when she might think she'd lost him, he walks into her view as she's consuming the deer.

He goes very still, his eyes glittering darkly. Never one to hide his emotions, he nonetheless tries to conceal the nausea that washes over him at the sight of blood on the dress that she's wearing--red on blue, tattered, ruined--'This is all that is left'--a scrap of lace--his gaze superfocusses on it for an instant before he shakes his head. It hits him that he's made a grave error, that he's overestimated his own stability. But he can't back down, now.

When she speaks, he has to take a calming breath before he can answer. "That is precisely what I wish to know."

His answer gained a curious look from her. Immediately she notices the distaste he had in her feeding habits. Was it the blood on the dress? Whatever the case, she made quick work of the remaining blood and then moved towards him, stepping back into the moonlight in the clearing and letting it illuminate her again, much like it had in the hallway.

"How I kill? Are you looking to conquer death or to use it as a weapon to wield like an old friend?" She began circling him, her entire body broadcasting something dark and predatory. "Or.. is it something else."

Again Azwel is stricken by how she looks in the silvery light--that white skin and black hair and those deep blue eyes. But he can't tear his eyes from the dark red that glistens on that royal blue fabric. But he has to. He must, or he'll end his days here and now.

He gives a short laugh. "Death cannot be conquered--it comes to us all, sooner or later. It can be averted, displayed, used, but never defeated." But at the next question his brows furrow over wide eyes and he steps back, that same magick gathering around him again, that same red and blue light trailing from those gauntlets he hadn't removed. "Have a care how closely you tread to some things, or I may consider the study concluded already!"

The feel of that strange magick he used before has her veering away from him, delving deeper in the shadows to put a little distance between them. Yet the sapphire blue glow from her eyes gave her away as she moved in the darkness.

Her eyes had always set her apart from her red or golden eyed brethren, making her striking even among vampires. "How can you be so sure death cannot be conquered? Some might say that vampires have managed to tame death, we are immortal if you believe the legends about us."

She finally stopped moving and faced him in the shadows, watching and waiting. "Concluded already~? We haven't even started yet. Surely your curiosity won't let whatever answers I might have go that easily."

His eyes narrow as she retreats into the shadows. She has the advantage over him in this respect, his eyes unable to see nearly as well in such darkness. He can track her by her distinct energy, but it's not infallible. Her voice echoes among the trees, making it difficult to know where it was coming from, but he can see those blue points and he moves slowly toward them.

Her taunting words grate at him--ordinarily he would let that slide, even laugh it off, but in the state he's in they jab at him. He continues into the trees, inwardly reciting a calming mantra, his eyes darting.

"Perhaps I'll need to find out for myself how trustworthy that legend is!"

Perhaps he should have never let her out of that room or even his manor because Rip was feeling more and more confidant the longer they were at their little game.

Her words were meant to taunt and entice just to see what buttons could and could not be pressed. Rip wanted to figure out her captor and turn the manipulation back on him.. if she can manage

"Is that so? And what if I don't want to help you test that particular legend?"

He nearly answers that she won't have much of a choice, but... no.... He reconsiders--less harsh words may work better in this case. He pauses, peering into the trees, visibly calming himself.

"I don't wish to test it, mind you. There are many other things I wish to learn, first. I... apologise. I lost my temper. We can talk this over if you come out."

He's right, pointing out she didn't have a choice may have lead to her attacking him outright. Rip keeps watching him, noting his attempt at calming down and pouts faintly.

It seems this little game will need to be drawn out over time.

"Fine. Apology accepted zhough, I still protest at being anyone's 'pet'." Despite the fact that she was sold as a slave due to her own stupidity. One bad hunt and she lost her freedom..

Azwel untenses his hands, the energy dying down to its usual background hum.

He gives a soft tsk sound. "Now, who said anything about your being a 'pet?' I can't think of a--" he nearly says human, but that just isn't accurate, is it? "--sapient being that way. Brings to mind some associations I'd rather not have," he finishes drily. Clearly he's seen some shit. He gives a slight shiver, shrugging his heavy robes back into place.

"But that's another matter entirely. Will you come back out, now?"

Good save. Rip would have been insulted to be called human so it may be best never to call her that. "If I'm not your pet, then what am I to you? You did buy me after all."

After a few moments of reluctance, she moved closer to him, slowly stepping out of the shadows and back into the moonlight so he could see her fully again.

"Plus, I hardly have my freedom anymore. The collar around my neck is a good indication of that."

This question actually catches him a trifle unprepared. What would he call her? 'Pet' simply didn't fit. 'Test subject' didn't, either, since he wasn't really going to be running any tests. He meant to observe her and learn from those observations, nothing more. He shakes his head. "I haven't yet found a word that fits. It's true I wish to study how you hunt and kill, how you consume your prey; I wish to learn why it is vampires prey on humans, specifically; and perhaps I'll learn enough that I can close this chapter of my life and move on."

He eyes the collar for a moment. "And once that's done, perhaps I'll simply set you free. I don't know, yet."

"Then I'm a specimen for you to study." That's what it sounded like at least.Rip wasn't too sure how to feel about that. In a way it was better than pet or test subjects. Pets were playthings and test subjects usually died in the end. Being.. this was at least different.

Rip still wasn't thrilled about it, but, she'd accept it for now. "Why do you want to know all those things? I could just answer your questions and you could free me right now."

Azwel appears to have gotten some of his old composure back, because he shakes his head with a quiet chuckle. "Oh, now, how could I trust those answers would be accurate and truthful? The sapient mind is dreadful at self-assessment, after all. And it's not outside the realm of possibility that one would simply say what they figure the questioner wanted to hear. No, I'm afraid it'll have to be obervation."

A beat. "In the meantime, I shall have to get you some different clothes."

She huffed softly when he stated Observation was the way to go with her and the answers he wanted. To what, she still wasn't sure but, she could see talking her way out of this wasn't going to happen any time soon.

When he mentioned her clothes, she paused and looked down, surveying the mess she made of herself. Rip didn't seem to be bothered in the slightest by the blood splatter. Then again, she's also done worse than this to herself before.

"I assume ve are heading back to zhe house for zhat? Unless you're planning on stripping me naked right here und conjuring clothing or zomething."

For some reason that tickles old Azwel. "Would that I could--such magick would make me famous the world over!"

He sobers again quickly enough, though. "But I cannot, so, yes, back to the house we must go. Hopefully you are fed enough for now." A beat. "That blood will never wash out. We shall simply have to burn what you're wearing. It won't be the first time," he finishes a little darkly.

"Come. We must go back inside."

"Yes I haf." She already started moving, sad that they had to cut their time outside so short but, clean clothes were a must. However.. "You make it zound like zhe vardrobe you provided me is unsatisfactory."

She glances towards him, curious. "Zhe clothes are too short but, I doubt I vill get all of zhem covered in blood."

"Surely you'd rather have something that fitted you properly, though?" he asks, easily falling into step with her, watching closely. "Those dresses were tailored for someone else, after all...." Here he trails off again and this time there's a flash of anger at himself. Why can't he simply say what happened? It's completely irrational to think that not speaking of it would somehow make it untrue, make it so she'd simply gone missing and would walk in the door any day now....

He shivers, suddenly cold.

"Naturally, yes. But, why does it bother you that I wear them?" Because no matter how much he denies it, she can tell. His shock and anger gave him away. Which lead her to wonder what happened to the person that originally wore the clothes that she was wearing.

"What happened to this woman? I doubt she just left her clothing behind."

He stops, trembling, clenching his fists so hard that blue and red light wicks upward from the gauntlets on his hands. After a couple breaths he utters an incoherent sound, clapping his metal-shod hands to his face so fast that he draws a thin line across his own temple from which little red droplets slowly well up.

"She was killed...." he grates. "By a vampire.... My wife, my Anya...." Though once the floodgates had been forced open he now can't stem the tide. "They burned her body, never even allowed me to see it, to see her one last time...." he sobs. Inwardly he panics, now, terrified that he won't be able to stop, that this being will take advantage of his distress and kill him here and now. He drops his hands and whirls to look at her, his gaze wild in a tear-soaked face. "I would know how it happened! Why it happened!"

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