lovesuwithknives

AU Box

Because I can't leave that Abstract Button alone, here's a bunch of AUs that roll about in my head that I figured I'd plop in here to see if anyone wants to bat them about.

Warnings apply for pretty much everything: smut, body horror, violence, nonconsensual science, cosmic horror, pregnancy, gender-switching, and probably more.

Wizarding AU
or
Harry Potter And The Contrived Fanfiction Plot

Is it Marauders-Era and you not only have to deal with them but this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? Or, even worse, is this during the books and you have to deal with all of that plus this weirdo new Defence Against The Dark Arts instructor? What on earth was Dumbledore thinking? This man looks like he just crawled out from under the floorboards of Voldemort's own goddamn house. He makes Snape look trustworthy. But boy does he know his stuff. And all kinds of other stuff. So what's Professor Azwel really about?

Cthulhu Mythos AU
or
The Call Of The Thing On The Living Room Floor Of The Witch-House Of The Terrible Old Man With The Silver Key To The Challenge From Beyond The Wall Of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Terrible things are afoot in New England in the 1920s. Fish-people and cultists and schlubs having horrible dreams are everywhere. Things are colours that don't exist. A squiggly symbol that scares the bejeezus out of you is scrawled on random surfaces. And what's that awful tekeli-li sound that rides the wind of an evening? What are those faceless flying creatures silhouetted against the moon? AND WHY IS AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL BUG MAN THING CLAIMING HE'S RANDOLPH CARTER? Nobody knows except a strange mystic from Europe who calls himself only 'Azwel' and seems to know an awful lot about and awful lot of things. Things man (or woman or bug) was not meant to know! Do you follow him to the hilltops or into the cypress swamps or wherever else he says the horrible tomes direct him or do you do the smart thing and run screaming into the night, trailing As as you go?

Domestic Fluff
or
How I Married A Mad Alchemist

Ah, wedded bliss. Family life and home sweet home. Is there anything like it? Probably not. You are Mr. Or Mrs. Azwel. His first name is a secret he just might someday tell you. In the meantime, you now live in a big sprawling house with either three or seventeen cats (never any other number), a plethora of alchemical paraphernalia, and a husband whom you have to tempt out of the lab to eat. But he's wealthy. And he loves you more than anything. He just... has a very unconventional way of showing it.

Sex Slave
or
Fuggit, I'm Running Out Of Titles.

a Did you get bought from the sex slave market by this odd, mysterious nobleman who only goes by one name? How will this 'Lord Azwel' even treat you? Only one way to find out, as he's bringing you home to his mansion full of books and alchemy. Oh, my.

b You're looking for that special sex slave. Well, this fellow is certainly eye-catching, all big and manly, windswept and interesting. Watch out, though, the owner says he's a bit mad, too clever by three quarters, and was sold to him as punishment for some crime nobody will disclose.

Experiments? Oh My!
It can be any time, really, the aim is the same. This strange genius who calls himself only 'Azwel' has you locked up in his laboratory. He has a mission, you see, and that mission is to extract a very, very specific kind of energy from you. It can only be collected during orgasm. Oh, but he's terribly clever at getting people to that state....

Vampire AU
a Blaaaaaa! A mysterious alchemist who never goes out in the daytime has moved into that spooky castle. And at the same time there's tell of a mysterious fiend roaming the streets at night, ravishing nubile young maidens and... whatever the young gentleman equivalent may be... and draining their blood! Can anyone draw the obvious conclusion between these nocturnal shenanigans and that weird Count Azwel?

b You vampire, you! You've somehow gone and caught yourself a nosy alchemist who insists on being called only 'Azwel.' His fault for trying to investigate your castle/house/apartment/yurt/whatever, I suppose. Now what will you do with him? My, but he's a robust-looking fellow who'll certainly serve as a ready food supply....

Girl Genius AU
Explosions! Terrible mad science! Toothy monsters with cheesy accents! Giant switches actually labelled 'MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!' Gleeful destruction! Exclamation marks! Just what have you gotten yourself into walking into the midst of Mechanicsburg in a random era ruled by Azwel Heterodyne The Madder Than Usual?

Pet Person AU
a Who doesn't like a big fluffy kitty? A... really big, fluffy kitty. Even though he prefers to wear clothes, one can see just how fluffy Azwel is by his purple hair and beard, soft grey ears with purple tufts, and giant, fluffy purple and grey tail. Oh, but he'd make a lovely companion, if you can get him to stop chewing on you. His love is pointy, after all. His claws are so long they don't retract all the way, making him even pointier. But he's clever and just listen to that rumbling purr!

Oh, and one other thing. There's a very good chance he'll be in heat. And even if he's not, he's still very libidinous. Sorry about that.

b Are you the kind of pet person Azwel's looking for? He's after someone who can assist in his work and not push things off of shelves or knock things over with a wagging tail. A companion to curl up with on cold nights. A sexual partner. Is it you?

Sex Cult AU
There's a heady smoke in the air, a mist swirling grey-white under the full moon. A hypnotic drumbeat plays. Cloaked and hooded figures surround you, bear you along to the stone altar under the tall trees. They start a slow, circling dance and a low, sonorous chant slips into your hearing. At the altar stands another figure, clad in elabourate robes. He reaches up with beringed hands to remove his hood, revealing his face, long purple hair and beard surrounding pale features and a gaze that draws you in. He bids you step toward him. The ritual has begun.

As an added bonus, request Rule 63 of any of the above and hey, presto, Azwel was always a woman!

Got any other ideas? Feel free to throw them at me. ^.^

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Oh, I don't think that'd be a good idea at all," a familiar voice observes wryly from the other side. "I'll ask my questions from out here, for now."

The image of Azwel standing on the other side of the door and shouting at a big slab of wood is a ludicrous one, but there he stays. "Now. I've done rather a lot of research on vampires, but it's all very anecdotal and, frankly, I wouldn't rely on some of these people to correctly tell me the time of day, much less anything else." There's the unmistakable sound of pages turning. Does... is he consulting a book? A book on vampires? "So, I'll simply ask you. Can you eat what humans consider food or does it have to be blood? If so, must it be blood from a human or will an animal suffice? Oh, and lastly, what size shoe do you wear? It gets very draughty in here sometimes."

She let a growl slip as the sound of her 'Master' came through the thick door. With it locked and with how thick the door looked, Rip doubted she'd be tearing through it anytime soon.

So this is what he wanted. A lab rat to do research on? She stood and stormed towards the door, pounding on it harshly as she hears his questions. And.. the pages of a book? What the ever loving hell!?

She slammed her fists against the thick wood again, barely denting the slab keeping him safe from her wrath as she considered whether to answer the questions or not. The rumbling in her stomach.. at least bade her answer the ones about her diet.

"No, it has to be blood. Yes, it can be animal but it won't slake my hunger for long. Only human blood does that. Virgin blood longer than others." She huffed softly before trying the door handle and finding it still very locked.

"...Nine." Her shoe size. Not that she actually expected him to get her shoes.

"What are you going to do with me? "

"All in good time," he answers infuriatingly. "I shall have to start looking straight away--d'you have any idea how difficult it is to find a virgin in this town?" He heaves a sigh. "My beloved humanity, nothing but food for some! Ah, but nature is capricious, is she not? Everything must be eaten by something else! I shall return shortly!" This last he utters in a manner that clearly sounds as though it absolutely must be accompanied by the dramatic swish of a cloak. His footsteps recede into the distance.

Well, then.

Time passes, as it so often does when some enterprising sorcerer isn't playing with it. An unmeasured amount of time, sadly, as the only clock in the room had run down. Presently there's another knock at the door. But before she can answer something is pushed through, which hits the floor with a heavy thud before the door slams shut again.

That something turns out to be a man, nondescript and scruffy, who'd apparently been beaten senseless if the breaks and lacerations and odd burns are anything to go by.

Tied to his ankle by their laces is a pair of women's size nine shoes--plain but well-made.

"I'm afraid he's very much not a virgin. To tell the truth, he scarcely qualifies as human--I managed to snag him from a prison transport, after all. The one that takes the hardened criminals to the mines. I daresay he won't be missed. But, nonetheless, every human deserves love, and love comes in so many different forms! What greater love than the opportunity to insure that another may live?"

This man is off his trolley. He has beaten a man unconscious and sent him to his death at the fangs of a vampire and he speaks of love? Still, there's a free meal.

Without anything to mark the passage of time, all she could do was wait.. and pace her rooms. Every corner and shadow was explored in her boredom. Even the dresses were pulled out, looked over and then rearranged to her liking. The same thing happened with the bathroom.. and anywhere else she could reorganize.

Rip was restless. She wanted out of the room and she wanted to hunt. By now her hunger was all consuming and she wanted nothing more than to tear someone apart and slake her hunger on their blood. When it almost seemed like she was forgotten, the door opened and something was thrown in.

The scent of a human hit her immediately. She didn't care if they were a virgin or not, she was starving! Rip was on him in an instant , feasting on the unconscious soul as her owner spoke of love for humanity.. something she ignored as she focused on her meal, draining every drop of blood from the man at her feet and leaving a bloodless corpse with a torn out throat.

Once she was satisfied, she noticed the shoes and frowned as she untied the simple shoes from her meal and slipped them on. Now that she was fed, dressed.. and more or less clean. She need to focus on her Master and how to get out of here.

...And he is definitely not sane. Then again, one might argue vampires aren't either. "Living off zhe scoundrel's of humanity is fine by me as long as its warm blood and a filling meal. Virgins simply satisfy my hunger longer."

She stared at the door for a few more moments. "Let me out of this pretty prison. I need to stretch my legs and hunt."

"Oh, now, I have precious little staff left as it is," Azwel replies. "Then again, they're all fit and presumably good at running."

The door is unlocked with that loud sound peculiar to large keys and pushed open. Azwel, still dressed the same but very well-scrubbed, now, eyes her wryly. "I'd rather not destroy my own home in a fight but, if I must..." He lifts his gauntleted hands again, stepping back.

The dead body on the floor doesn't faze him in the slightest, but the sight of Rip in the too-short dress makes him blink, his stance wavering. "Oh, dear," he says. "I'd forgotten...."

"Then let me hunt in the forest. Animals are just as much fun as hunting humans." She paused when she heard the sound of large keys against the door and took a step back as he unlocked it and stepped in.

Already she was surveying him. He was cleaner and seemed unconcerned by her meal but, the sight of her? She raised an eyebrow slightly as he wavers. What?

"...Forgot what? That I was in here? You provided everything for me but a clock. So how long have you kept me locked in these rooms?"

"Ah. Well, long enough that it is nighttime, now. I shall have that clock seen to."

And then the real question. He shakes his head with a rueful sound. "I'd forgotten how much taller you are than she was." Then he blinks, returning his focus to her. "I shall have to accompany you this time, of course. The wards aren't completed yet. I should hate for you to run away so soon!"

She frowned. "Taller than who?" Now that was the real question. Who did this room belong to before her arrival? Rip studied him as she contemplated having him accompany her.

It would ruin her finding an escape route so soon but, it might not hurt to have him show her around.. She scoffed at the mentioning of wards, confidant she could get past them.

"I'll find a way out of here. No one is keeping me as their pet or whatever it is you bought me for."

This really seems to have wrong-footed him and he's not entirely sure why. How could he not have expected such questions to come up? Maybe he was hoping she wouldn't care. But there they are. The questions.

"My--" He stops, unwilling to go any further. "That's not important right now." At her show of confidence he tries to spread that delighted smile across his face and it doesn't quite work. "Hah, I will enjoy seeing that," he says, but it rings a little hollow.

"This way," he finally says, gesturing for her to go first, into the corridor.

His what? Lover? Pet..? Daughter? She frowned as it takes him completely off guard and seems to shake him. It's a weakness she's taking note of and perhaps.. might capitalize on soon enough.

There was something predatory about her as she finally moves after him. Sapphire eyes were taking in everything she could.

"Vhy did you pay such a high price for me?"

He doesn't look as though he's going to be terribly forthcoming about this any time soon, and his previously cheerful and grandiose demeanour seems to have withdrawn slightly.

Her keen eyes will take in the fact that the lighting hasn't changed but the curtains are pulled back to reveal the faint moonlight. There still doesn't seem to be anyone else about, and yet the faint smell of cooking lingers in the air. Azwel follows after her--he already suspects she'd going to want to explore the place.

At the next question that reticence doesn't ease. "A great many reasons," he answers. He's starting to have second feelings about this....

Moonlight. Rip pauses before one of the uncovered windows and closes her eyes, her face tilted up to enjoy the gentle caress of the moon like it was an old friend. She should be running through the forests bathed in the moon's glow. Not stuck in some house somewhere.

As she stands there, it's not hard to see her looking almost otherworldly for the brief time she's in the moonlight before moving back into the shadows. There's still that predatory edge to her movements. He really should have put more thought into what he allowed into his home...

"Like? Tell me why I'm trapped here like some house cat." Even as she's asking questions, she's exploring everything around her.. much like a curious house cat actually. A very dangerous one.

She is lovely. Ethereal. And if she looks in his direction she'll see he's utterly wonderstruck. He can't quite... seem to push his emotions back and out of the way.

When she moves back into the shadows the spell is broken and he manages to compose himself. More or less.

"There are things I wish to learn," he answers. "Questions I will have answered. In time." As in, once he's sorted his own emotions. "The doors are this way," he gestures more or less in their direction.

She wasn't quite sure why he was giving her that wonder struck look. It didn't even occur to her that he might find her beautiful in the moonlight. But, once she was in the shadows again..

Rip prowled around, poking at things as she listened to him speak and felt her frustration grow a little. That really wasn't an answer to her question. Not even close! She growled at him for a brief moment before he motioned towards the doors. Knowing where those are would be a very good thing to know. "What kind of Questions. I'm not your lab rat, you know."

"Of course not. I have no intention of running any kind of experimental procedure on you. It won't yield the kind of answers I wish to find. Any tests would only involve natural observation." Strangely, he sounds clipped, now.

He pulls the door open and takes a deep breath, watching her step outside. "Anything done in a laboratory setting will not tell me how she died, or why...." he trails off and clenches his jaw shut.

It's like pulling teeth, getting any kind of information out of this man.

At least that put a few of her worries at ease..Rip wasn't about to become someone's guinea pig if she could prevent it. but, he also raised several more questions. Like, why he would want to observe a vampire in the first place.

Or even... 'who died'? Whoever it was, must have meant something to him. That's all she could figure before she steps outside the doors and draws in a deep breath.

"Whatever it is you're hoping to learn from me, good luck. I'm just a vampire and apparently not the best at avoiding slavers." Her voice held a hint of annoyance at that. Rip made her way past the doors, surveying what lay before her with curiosity.

The grounds, spreading out under the moonlight, don't appear that interesting until one makes one's way around the house. Then it rises and dips in small hills and valleys, bordered on one side by a forest. On another side, near the house, a wall stands, solid and plain. And between the wall and the forest the land stretches off into a moor in which a line of curious standing stones resemble nothing more than a half-disassembled fence. The grounds cover several miles, it seems, and the more one attunes one's senses the more one can tell how varied these grounds are. Animals live in the woods and on the moor; and on the other side of the wall lay gardens and, further along, a large pond doubtless full of fish and waterfowl.

All the while Azwel watches her, his face unreadable. "On the contrary, I think I shall learn a great deal."

To a human, the grounds might not be interesting at first sight. To her? Every little sound drew her attention as she glanced to the forest. Where many saw shadows, she saw the creatures hiding among the trees and brush as if they were standing in plain sight. Every scent.. every sound. Every sight. Rip saw it all as she glanced from the forest towards the moors and then to the gardens.

The moonlight illuminated everything to her sensitive eyes as she seemed to drift more into a relaxed state being out among the wilderness or, what passed for it on his estate. Her focus was only broken when he spoke again, gaining a passing glance from her. "I highly doubt it."

Whatever he wanted to learn, Rip wasn't going to let him out of spite. Though, her curiosity did beg to answer the question of what his plan was for her. All to soon her attention was back to the lands before her and if he didn't stop her, she was taking off for the forests.

Her movements were fast and graceful with barely a sound to be heard as she broke the treeline and delved silently in. It would become very apparent that she was chasing after a deer that had caught her attention. For Rip, it didn't take much to run it down and capture the creature, tearing out its throat with an ease that spoke of countless hunts just like this one. Rip was no stranger to eating animals when she couldn't get humans.

Once the deer was drained, she left the carcass and licked up whatever blood had been on her hands. "Zhe only thing you vill learn from me iz death und zhe various vays I can kill a creature to my satisfaction."

The moment she takes off running, he's right behind her, much more fleet-footed than one would think someone his size, wearing so much, would be. Granted, he's still not as quick as she is, but he never loses sight of her, either. Even in the forest, when she might think she'd lost him, he walks into her view as she's consuming the deer.

He goes very still, his eyes glittering darkly. Never one to hide his emotions, he nonetheless tries to conceal the nausea that washes over him at the sight of blood on the dress that she's wearing--red on blue, tattered, ruined--'This is all that is left'--a scrap of lace--his gaze superfocusses on it for an instant before he shakes his head. It hits him that he's made a grave error, that he's overestimated his own stability. But he can't back down, now.

When she speaks, he has to take a calming breath before he can answer. "That is precisely what I wish to know."

His answer gained a curious look from her. Immediately she notices the distaste he had in her feeding habits. Was it the blood on the dress? Whatever the case, she made quick work of the remaining blood and then moved towards him, stepping back into the moonlight in the clearing and letting it illuminate her again, much like it had in the hallway.

"How I kill? Are you looking to conquer death or to use it as a weapon to wield like an old friend?" She began circling him, her entire body broadcasting something dark and predatory. "Or.. is it something else."

Again Azwel is stricken by how she looks in the silvery light--that white skin and black hair and those deep blue eyes. But he can't tear his eyes from the dark red that glistens on that royal blue fabric. But he has to. He must, or he'll end his days here and now.

He gives a short laugh. "Death cannot be conquered--it comes to us all, sooner or later. It can be averted, displayed, used, but never defeated." But at the next question his brows furrow over wide eyes and he steps back, that same magick gathering around him again, that same red and blue light trailing from those gauntlets he hadn't removed. "Have a care how closely you tread to some things, or I may consider the study concluded already!"

The feel of that strange magick he used before has her veering away from him, delving deeper in the shadows to put a little distance between them. Yet the sapphire blue glow from her eyes gave her away as she moved in the darkness.

Her eyes had always set her apart from her red or golden eyed brethren, making her striking even among vampires. "How can you be so sure death cannot be conquered? Some might say that vampires have managed to tame death, we are immortal if you believe the legends about us."

She finally stopped moving and faced him in the shadows, watching and waiting. "Concluded already~? We haven't even started yet. Surely your curiosity won't let whatever answers I might have go that easily."

His eyes narrow as she retreats into the shadows. She has the advantage over him in this respect, his eyes unable to see nearly as well in such darkness. He can track her by her distinct energy, but it's not infallible. Her voice echoes among the trees, making it difficult to know where it was coming from, but he can see those blue points and he moves slowly toward them.

Her taunting words grate at him--ordinarily he would let that slide, even laugh it off, but in the state he's in they jab at him. He continues into the trees, inwardly reciting a calming mantra, his eyes darting.

"Perhaps I'll need to find out for myself how trustworthy that legend is!"

Perhaps he should have never let her out of that room or even his manor because Rip was feeling more and more confidant the longer they were at their little game.

Her words were meant to taunt and entice just to see what buttons could and could not be pressed. Rip wanted to figure out her captor and turn the manipulation back on him.. if she can manage

"Is that so? And what if I don't want to help you test that particular legend?"

He nearly answers that she won't have much of a choice, but... no.... He reconsiders--less harsh words may work better in this case. He pauses, peering into the trees, visibly calming himself.

"I don't wish to test it, mind you. There are many other things I wish to learn, first. I... apologise. I lost my temper. We can talk this over if you come out."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject